Tebow And The Patriots: Saving Captain America . . . .

Updated: June 13, 2013

For those Bible thumpin’ football fans, witnessing Tim Tebow stranded, not on the sidelines, but  in the stands, branded little more than a spectator by 31 teams, all-of-whom completed their 2013 NFL squads void of Tebow on the roster – that visual was simply too-much to bare.


For some, honestly it was as if they were seeing Christ crucified, by the pig-skinned barbarians. For others . . . it was akin to watching Captain America be drummed-out of the League of Justice.


Say what?


Tebow personifies and embodies the 20th-century term White Americans can no longer speak . . . Great White Hope.


For the up-teth time young Mr Tebow is a John Wayne/Amelia Earhart type figure for more than just the “Good Book” believers. He’s created “Hillbilly Fever” with his “Gomer Pyle “ah shucks” All American Hee-Haw style.  He should have been born in a Little House on the Prairie, right outside   Mayberry, RFD.


Think classics like The Waltons, Hee-Haw, Bonanza., Plainville .


The Confederates love him, he’s “the man” with Rednecks all-across the land, from Seattle to Battle Creek. Deep down South, those who are talking of secession, leaving the Union because Obama wants to take-away their guns n’ bibles – for them TT is the Messiah.

The anti-Abortion fanatics love him, the Home Schoolers and Survivalist, guess what, love Tebow. There’s a great slice of the All-American Apple Pie lovin’  WASP demographic which loves this kid because he’s one of them.


If  n’ when Tebow ever elaborates on how his religious convictions mold n’ shape his social/economic and alas, his political beliefs . . . we’ll all understand why The Right goes nuts over this guy


If Tebow were to have been dismissed from the league, due directly to his lack of professional Quarterback ability, coupled-with his personal bromance with Jesus – a love which blows the bugle for the fanatical Christian Soldiers . . . those religious zealots who come a-marching-up out of the Mississippi root cellar and attack any coach not starting Tebow – if that combination of issues deemed the unchosen Chosen One  “not worth it,”  well then for crew-cut “Real Americans” that would be a slap-in-the-face, that their Superman and spokes bear would have lost on the cultural battlefield

Apparently watching a man drown was something Mr Kraft and coach Belichick could not stomach. It must have been unsettling for the New England Patriot’s ownership and brain-trust, and they either emotionally or strategically felt they had to save a Great White Hope, who most of the league had determined could not walk on water, let-alone  throw a 15-yard slant to save his life.


For me, watching Tebow swing in the wind of a chilly arctic meat house like a slap of Unicorn meat . . . was confirming for me. His overall rejection was the appropriate finality for a faulty “B” movie. This is the conclusion we all could see; the kid didn’t have the skills to excel in the NFL, but he and his followers didn’t believe that, God bless them.


Young Mr. Tebow just doesn’t have the skills to transform from Superboy to Superman


Tim is US  pop culture’s Captain America, he’s all that a genuine, authentic American White man can hope for; he looks good in underwear, he’s still a virgin,  who can run like a deer, ok Bullwinkle. He loves baby Jesus and America. He represents that “American Exceptionalism” that the Republican TEA Party constantly talks of.


And Chuck Norris loves Tim Tebow.


Matter of factually, Ted Nugent loves Tim Tebow . . . and therein resides the problem. The angry, White people who seem to hate just about everybody in America who isn’t White, and to the political Far Right, they’ve adopted and embraced Tebow.


Interesting, no?  Telling, hell yeah!


These are the folks who go on sports talk and the  message boards and tout Tim as the only “good, decent god fearing bible toting man on the field you’d want to marry your daughter or sister . . . .”


Obviously in a religious, ethical way it’s meant to be insulting and slighting to the White Negro luvin’  heathens and the godless Black savages on the gridiron with Tebow.


Those fanatical s who’ve “knighted” themselves as the Real White people, real Americans –  The true Patriots amongst a sea of  Interlopers and traitors who don’t love the United States Of America like Rush Limbaugh and Rand Paul love her.


Tebow has been treated with White Kid gloves because he represents  the Johnny Unitas yesteryear and what the frustrated 54 year old White football fan deeply yearns  to see  the league return to.

 So for the next couple of years Teabow ‘s going to be in a incubator where Josh McDaniels, Brady and Belichick attempt to play OZ, and bestow upon the Scarecrow a brain. They’ll try their hands at being Dr. Frankenstein and give the good-hearted monster with  bible quotes stamped on his eyelids . . .  a future, a life in the NFL as a Golden Boy.


There’s a method to all this social  madness; Tebow, according to Forbes and Wall Street is a marketing dream come true. If Brett Favre can still push Ford  trucks after pullin’ down his Wrangler pants, for a woman other than his Cancer-battling wife . . . then good lord, imagine what  this pristine Patriot can sell . . .?


  1. Eric Graham

    June 13, 2013 at 11:52 am

    Yes sir!!! This is classic Desi Cortez at his best!!!

  2. Desi Cortez

    June 13, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    Thanks Mr. Graham, I try.

  3. Black pig

    August 31, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    Looks like the black pig Desi Cortez is at it again. Do you know you black scumbags commit 90 percent of interracial crime in this country? You know you subhuman animals murder 3,000 whites a year and rape 30,000 white women> Niggers have destroyed every single city they have infested in this country Detroit, Atlanta, the list just goes on and on. Why is every city with niggers a drug infested shithole? Lets not even talk about Africa where you subhumans live worse than animals sleeping in mud huts rubbing cow urine on yourselves. You fucken racist nigger!

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