Updated: April 17, 2013

EDITORS’ NOTE: This article first appeared on BASN in March of 2010.

I finally understand for a woman It ain’t easy–trying to raise a man You always was committed, a poor single mother on welfare, Tell me how you did it There’s no way I can pay you back But the plan is to show you that I understand.

You are appreciated.– “Dear Mama” by Tupac Shakur

 NORTH CAROLINA (BASN) — With so many beautiful and intelligent Black women in the world like First Lady Michelle Obama, Jill Scott (singer), Laila Ali (boxer), or Serena Williams (tennis player).

Also Candace Parker (WNBA), Nia Long (actress), Pam Oliver (Sports Reporter) and Susan Taylor (publisher) plus many more, “Why do all the football players at my school date white girls?” asked my 15 year old nephew.

This is an old taboo topic.

But it re-surfaced its ugly head last month when Essence Magazine decided to place New Orleans Saint Reggie Bush — who dated reality diva Kim Kardashian — on the cover of its February issue for Black History Month.

The issue of interracial dating between Black athletes and white women has been discussed and explored several times on different levels by several sport writers, so-called intellectuals, and scholars before Reggie and Kim or even Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian.

The social phenomena of Black athletes and white women became such a “hot topic” during the O.J.Simpson murder trial that Dr.Michael Eric Dyson labeled it the “black man’s kryptonite” and in order to combat the trend wrote a book entitled “Why I Love Black Women, which he said “was his small but heartfelt testimony to how Black women shaped his life.”

So, why do Black athletes date white girls?

Is it a mental health issue? A sickness. A form of self-hatred. A case of white supremacy and Black inferiority. Or simply an example of years of television programming that have warped their “sub-conscious” minds with negative images of Black women being portrayed as jezebels, sapphire, and mammies.

Just look at the two movies that received Oscar recognition by the Academy Awards this year. One features Sandra Bullock, who won Best Actress for her role in the movie The Blind Side,’ a drama about a white woman who adopts an African American high school student.

The other, on the flip side, involves comedian Monique, who also won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in the movie “Precious”, in which she plays an abusive, evil, foul-mouth, Black woman that allows her daughter to be sexual molested.

I, myself, refused to watch either of these Hollywood propaganda films.

Even though, they may depict a slice of “somebody’s” reality.

But after watching Monique win an Oscar for her role as a monster, I really became upset when I overheard a Black Woman, whose nephew plays for a Division I football program say “Isn’t that something, all of these Black football players have white girlfriends.”

 Shockingly, she wasn’t upset. She just made the statement and went onto the topic of discussion.

 As a former college athlete myself, I understand that most of these Black athletes attending these large universities probably make up only 2%of the student body population will probably claim they seldom see any “good” Black women on campus.

 I understand as a Black Athlete how hard it is to resist the temptation to sleep with one of those rich privileged “daddy little girls” with the BMW and purse full of credit cards in college because she behaves like one of those slutty drunk women on the “Girls Gone Wild Videos” flashing their breast for the cameras in lesbian lace kissing scenes which used to airs on BET.

 (Damn, that’s sad Ms. Debra Lee).

Matter of fact, Movie Director Spike Lee showed us a glimpse of this in his hit movie “He Got Game” featuring Denzel Washington and Boston Celtic Ray Allen in 1998, how some schools use or exploit these groupie girls as part of their ritualize recruiting tool to entrap players.

But seriously, I really don’t care, who these Black athletes choose to date or marry, but I do care when most of these young Black athletes come from single parent homes in which their Black mothers bend over backwards to see them succeed in life, make a “conscious” decision to date exclusively white females.

Because despite all the awards, white cheerleaders and applause received by these universities along with the fake smiles and handshakes by big money alumni and booster club members, their grandmothers, mothers and aunties are still their number one fans.

Because, they are the ones that cooked and cleaned, yelled and screamed, dared and dreamed, worked late and prayed early for them to go to college and earn an education.

So that’s why it disturbs me when I see these Black athletes with ‘white girls’ because most Black athletes literally WORSHIP their BLACK MOTHERS, BLACK GRANDMOTHERS, and BLACK AUNTIES.

For instance, have you ever heard the Cleveland Cavaliers Lebron James talk about his mother? (Powerful). Have you ever heard Isiah Thomas talk about his MOTHER? (Moving)

 Have you seen Terrell Owens during a taping of his reality show visit his BLACK GRANDMOTHER, who is battling Alzheimer’s  sit down and talk with her. (Touching).

 Have you ever heard the late Tupac Shakur’s song “Dear Mama”, which has a verse in the song that states: “Even though you were a CRACK fiend MAMA, You still were a BLACK QUEEN, MAMA…?

But despite all of this , some Black athletes seem to run their fastest 40 yard dash to get into the arms of that single white female.

But they all must “over stand” that when they make that touchdown, their BLACK MOTHERS make that touchdown.When they hit that last second three pointer; she hits that three-pointer.

And when they make that spectacular dunk shot, she jumps even higher than them when she sees her child that she gave birth to, defy the laws of gravity in front of a coliseum full of people chanting his name. That she gave him.

God is good. All the time.

But oddly when it comes time for their beloved sons, who have been named All-County, All State, All -American, All-Conference to select a mate, they refused all those pretty “little black girls” because they thought they were too black, too bold, too bossy, too strong, too smart, too spiritual, too loud, too voluptuous, and too nappy.

But honestly those “beautiful and intelligent little black girls” they refused and rejected to date, possess the same beautiful qualities as their grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and nieces and “baby” sisters who helped raised them and loved them unconditionally.

So Black mothers warn your sons about the Black man’s kryptonite when they sign those letters of intent and make all of that money for those major white universities.

Because if you don’t, “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.”


  1. Tina

    April 21, 2013 at 10:12 am

    What a stupid fucking article who gives a shit if black athletes date white woman how u gonna compare ur future wife girlfriend whatever with ur mama if they don’t want black woman so be it!!! I don’t fucking blame them!!! I’m white and my man black he can’t stand black woman and he a mama boy that don’t mean shit stop hating!

  2. TonyW

    April 23, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    I understand your point, but I disagree that marrying to a white woman is a “Black man’s kryptonite”. Marrying to the “wrong” woman is. I just talked to a friend who had a friend that marry someone from Africa and that relationship led to depression and death. That to me is a man’s kryptonite. He married the wrong woman…by-the-way, I have been happily married to a black woman for the last 19 years.


  3. MichaelM.

    April 24, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    “But despite all of this , some Black athletes seem to run their fastest 40 yard dash to get into the arms of that single white female.” What sensationalistic claptrap! This is one of the most shallow, poorly considered articles I’ve read in quite some time, using stereotypes as postulates for arguments.

    Isn’t the desire for something different, exotic, or forbidden an equally plausible explanation for the phenomenon, which probably accounts for the vast majority of all interracial relationships, including those involving white men with black female companions.

  4. Lawrence Benford

    April 29, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Who wants to marry their Mother, Grandmother, or Aunt? Some people want to marry the “qualities” of the women that help shape them, even if those qualities come in a different package.
    The skin color of the Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, etc. is not a quality, nor is it a quality in a dating or marriage partner.
    That being said, Love, Lust, like hate, envy, jealousy, ignorance, etc. all come in different packages.

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