Straight . . . No Chaser: Give The White People What They Want – Tim Tebow

By Desi Cortez BASN Columnist
Updated: August 4, 2011

DENVER, CO.(BASN)—Give the people what they want . . . a great Nordic alpha-male Quarterback to cheer for. Members of the wide world of sports, you people on the outside the mountain states, on either side of the continental divide, you simply don’t understand how deep the yearning is throughout America’s Rocky Mountain region for a genuine, authentic Real American, an bible totin n’ God fearin” Great White Hope like Tim Tebow to “take-command” of the professional pigskin crusaders, become a 7-star Field General, transform and then lead a band of brainless, heartless Black Savages into war on the Mile Hi battlefield. Onward chocolate Christian soldiers, led by the “Great White Hope.” Explaining Tebow Fever means you can’t lose sight of where and what Denver is – a National White-Flight destination spot . . . Unlike other major metropolises across the nation Denver’s got its “negro problem” somewhat in-hand . . it’s the aliens from Planet Mexico the Tea Party folks want to overnight fright to Guadalajara . . . . Tom Tancredo was almost our governor. Colorado, headquarters for the religious fanatic fruitcakes Focus on the Family. All of Colorado beyond the metro area and Boulder is Tea Party Country. Denver’s streets and even our old airport Stapleton are named after civil servant Klansman of yesteryear, this is home to the anti-worker solidarity – the Coors family, co-founders of the Heritage Foundation . . . organized, deep-pocketed well-dressed Aryan aristocrats who’re laboring to put all the little people back in their subordinate position. Local AM talk radio across Colorado sounds like a Conservative White Citizens council meeting. Can you say fundamental Puritan fanaticism – an ideology but one-step, one-step away from being Christian Terrorism is starting to get a little spooky. Can you say Tulsa Race Riots or Rosewood. These Patriots have got a bible in one hand, a taser in the other and pharmaceutical drugs in their back pocket . . . and they want their heroes, like Tebow to represent, help spread their good word. Tebow and these cats have already broken-bread, talked about doing Gods work together. If Tebow can morph into the second coming of John Elway (or just beat out Kyle Orton) . . . my god man! Do you know how much merchandise can be moved with this holy-thrower pushing under-ground titanium-lined “Rapture bunkers” and pure-cane gold to the dumb-ass masses . . . ? Sorry, but the people who God talks back-to . . . they scare me, I say a little prayer every-nite, and in it I ask God to please protect me from his followers. Bronco-land is the land of Congressmen Doug Lamborn, who dubbed this President “Tar Baby.” His supporters, who’re sportsfans -want to see a a White man, the Right White man lead their team. Our dilemma: Orton, a better than average NFL signal caller, ranked in the top-ten appears to, in the fanatical fan’s eye – to pale in comparison to Tebow . . . Orton’s not “White” enough. Orton doesn’t have the “the lord” on his side. He’s not a born-again Christian with a personal relationship with the baby Jesus (blond haired/blue eyed viking version of Jesus) nor is Kyle keeping his male virginity until he finds the new virgin in the high-alpine mangier, Margret. Not to mention, Kyle can’t damn near run like a Black boy. But Tebow is an inaccurate passer, has clumsy footwork, unconventional throwing motion and believe it or not – not fleet-of-foot, he depends on bulldog might, as opposed to Mike Vick speed – and as Merell Hodges said “he can’t even physically last 16 games . . . “ See’ Tea Bagger sports fanatics look at Tebow and see Elvis or Timberlake – in cleats. Now a layer deeper, sportsfans decipher through the sportswriters and reporters window dressing; they grasp the stark reality – Tim Tebow is the subject of much man-luv, there’s a bro-mance between this big cat and the “A” typical frustrated, resentful, envious, contemptuous White guy – who yearns to see a pristine Super White Man dominate over America’s blackened past-time – football, a game predominated and dominated by moral-less, Godless Black gladiators. And of course they want to see him in the Golden Boy position which combines brains, balls, and brawn – more-so then any other position on the field. Hey, tell the truth . . . shame the devil. This rhyme, reason n’ rational hoisting Tebow to the top – identical to what’s behind the elevation of Peyton “Thor” Hillis to the cover of Madden. It’s what permits Brett Favre to display his penis to young women . . . while the mother of his children battles Cancer – and Brett still be mentioned as QB in the NFL or announcing Monday Night Football This never-ending quest for Great White Hopes is a reaction to this country’s national pastimes being taken over by Blacks. Quite simply “sports” are an element of our society at the epi -center of the cultural battles being waged for the identity of the US of A. Rockies, Nuggets, CU Buffs, skiing, hiking, biking, fishing, horseback riding . . . it all takes a balcony-seat to the NFL’s Denver Broncos, and they’ve fans who can’t be this close to having the 13th disciple leading their team – only to have him lose out to a non-believing heathen.With Orton off the trading blocks and back behind center, he;d better not stumble, fumble or tumble because Elway will have little choice but to give the fanatics what they want, Jesus, oh, sorry – Tebow.