CAROLINA CRISIS: THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU By Michael...
HERE COMES THE HATER Volume 73
NORTH CAROLINA, (BASN)—1. Do you know what Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 plan is?
Yes, it’s the price of one of his large Godfather pizza with extra cheese.
2. What does it mean for the Oakland Raiders to draft Terrelle Pryor?
By the Raiders drafting Terrelle Pryor, the Black Hole just got blacker.
3. Did you see Cecil Fielders’ homerun?
I saw it but the baseball disappeared after it when over the moon.
4. Is Tim Tebow the new Matt Leinart?
No, Tim Tebow is not the new Matt Leinart. Why? Because, Tebow is 15 times better than Leinart.
5. What did you learn from the great-late Al Davis?
Just Win Baby!!!!
6. Who is the most ungrateful human being on the planet?
The most ungrateful human being on the planet is Tiger Woods’ former caddie Steve Williams, who made over eight million dollars carrying Woods’ golf clubs.
7. What team had the most penalties in the NFL last year?
The 2010 Oakland Raiders. ….They had 148 flags thrown on them last year. Lack of discipline means lots of loses.
8. Do you believe corporations are people?
No, I won’t believe a corporation is a person until I see a corporation get executed.
9. Nnamdi Asomugha or Darrelle Revis?
Revis…Why? Because Asomugha is too skinny and I don’t know how to spell his name.
10. Who should the NFL test for steroids?
Rapper Buster Rhymes and Doctor Dre should be tested for steroids. Seriously, these dudes are too DANG big.