CAROLINA CRISIS: THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU By Michael...
HERE COMES THE HATER Volume 62
NORTH CAROLINA, (BASN)—1. Do you feel bad for Tiki Barber?
Nope, he brought it own himself. On the good-side, I think, BET is hiring.
2. Are the Philadelphia Eagles the “new dream team?”
No. The Philadelphia Eagles are the new team dreaming.
3. Did you see the University of Maryland’s new uniforms?
Yes. I saw the Terps new uniforms. And after seeing them, I almost had a seizure.
4. Did you see the Miami Dolphins versus the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football?
Yes, I saw the game but I didn’t see Chad OchoCinco.
5. If Michael Vick didn’t play quarterback, what position could he play?
If Vick didn’t play quarterback, he could play cornerback. Did you see that hit, he put on Troy Polomalu during Preseason?
6. Did you see the new Uggs commercial featuring Tom Brady?
Yes. I saw the new Uggs commercial featuring Tom Brady. But who knew Tom Brady listened to hip-hop? And Mos Def is his favorite rapper.
7. Did you see the white version of Michael Vick?
Yes. I saw the white version of Michael Vick. But I wasn’t surprised that ESPN the Magazine made him white. They did the same thing to JESUS.
8. Were you impressed with Cam Newton’s rookie debut against the Arizona Cardinals?
Yes, I was highly impressed. Cam Newton is my super hero.
9. How old is too old?
Ask Evander Holyfield, this dude is still boxing.
10. Do you think T.O. will play in the NFL this season?
I hope so, somebody has to take up for Tony Romo
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