A Very American Coup By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor-in-Chief...
HERE COMES THE HATER vol. 37
1. What will it take for the NFL lockout to be over?
The NFL lockout will end when the crime rate increases and Ray Lewis accidently kills somebody.
2. Why do the Philadelphia Eagles want Plaxico Burress?
The Philadelphia Eagles want Plaxico Burgess because they want two jail birds on one team. Sorry, Michael Vick….
3. Is Dirk Nowitzki the new “great white hope”?
No…Dirk Nowitzki is not the “new great white hope.” He is just a classic example of great Germany engineering.
4. Why doesn’t Lance Armstrong just admit he took steroids?
Lance Armstrong will never admit he took steriods until Sammy Sosa admits he bleached his skin.
5. Do you think you can get a date with Pau Gasol’s finance’?
No. But Shannon Brown probably could….
6. Did being on “Dancing with the Stars”make Hines Ward less intimidating?
No being on Dancing with the Star did not make Hines Ward less intimidating because he broke his dance partner’s neck in the process.
7. Whose side are you on in the lockout? The players or the owners?
I’m on the owners side because I know know Commissioner Roger Goodell loves me. Did you see how he hugged all of those players during the 2011 NFL Draft?
8. Who was the Jet Beauty of the week?
It was some chick from N.C.Central. I forgot her name but her measurements were 34-24-38. I love stats.
9. Did you watch Brad Keselowski’s victory lap during the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series race at the Kansas City Speedway on Sunday?
No. I was in my bathroom, sitting on the toilet, reading some of my uncle’s old jet magazines.
10. Do you think Jim Tressel will ever coach football again after the scandal at Ohio State?
Sure, Jim Tressel can coach my Pee-Wee football team if he wants to. Besides, none of us have tattoos or a driver’s license
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