Playlist against Plutocracy (Volume V)

By Michael Louis-Ingram, BASN Associate Editor
Updated: February 17, 2011

PHILADELPHIA (BASN) — Ahh, love…and that time of year when it gets even colder if you forgot to recognize your significant other (y’all hear me!)

I won’t front – Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean as much to me anymore – for a lot of reasons; but the longstanding, unspoken policy is that if you’re not giving your partner somethin’ to love or make her feel loved prior to, some flying naked baby shooting arrows at yo’ ass ain’t gonna get it done!

As a matter of fact, I wish the l’il chubby muthafucka would try to hit me with one of those; I’d show his winged ass a new meaning to child abuse!

In the sports world, as in real life we’ve seen acts of love played out on ball fields and bar floors; and as the National Football League gets ready to play hard ball with the very people that made it so rich and powerful, three glaring examples of mental masturbation rear their ugly heads…

First, the down-home style of resident asshole Brett Favre, whose desire to get out of his Wrangler Jeans and (allegedly) show off his shortcomings to Jenn Sterger was exceeded only by his arrogance to thumb his nose at the Commissioner and the League.

Favre pulled Commissioner Goodell’s punk card by daring him to expose (pun intended) his dingaling dalliance and treat him like, well, one of the Niggers he looks to play Hangin’ Judge on.

When it came time to think or blink, Goodell bitched up – and said he was fining Favre for “failing to cooperate” with said investigation. ‘Way to slap on the cuffs, J.Edgar!

Of course the lawsuit filed by two female massage therapists didn’t reinforce Goodell’s spine either. But let a Black player think about ass, or look at ass, or even say the word ass – and his Black ass will be up against the wall – and fined by Sheriff Goodell’s Morals Po-Po…

The next misguided muthafucka on this Shit Parade is Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle, who threw in his two cents on Philadelphia Eagles QB Michael Vick and his Comeback Player of the Year season.

Buehrle, described by some accounts as an animal-rights activist, stated he and wife would watch Vick and (paraphrasing) “hoped he’d get hurt.”

Because of the abuse done to dogs in the illegal activity which led Vick’s incarceration, scumbags like Buehrle and PETA salivate at any chance to lash out at Vick and gain seconds of fame.

But here’s the kicker – while Buehrle’s rant may make Lassie feel warm and fuzzy, Bambi will tell you in a Noo Yawk Minnit that Buehrle’s fulla shit!

This hypocrite jackass has no problem hunting deer and killing deer; but you better believe if Bambi or Bullwinkle had an AK- 47, his punk ass would be home twiddling his thumbs!

That cum stained brain fart of hypocrisy makes Buehrle’s rant seem more like “Tainted Love” (cue keyboards).

Last, and surely least on the evolutionary scale from the love side is the disgusting nigger Ben Roethlisberger, whose rap sheet is a matter of public record in spite of his not being charged with a crime (civil suit pending).

However good a player he is on the field, it is apparent his desire to play The Field is all Sheet, er, shit – and no rap.

You would think someone with money to burn, fame and all the tasty side dishes that go with it could work their show a little better than going to Go-Rilla some ass from a girl in a nasty – ass bathroom stall!

Or a hotel room…

Apparently, it doesn’t matter; while it’s one thing to not have “home trainin’” – it’s another to think you’re above it as you smirk at the crowds while you skate on a criminal charge or two.

So as big as Ben thinks he is, he has the mentality of the Short Dick Man; self- entitlement can make one think their idea of pussy is watching Cats 101 on the Animal Planet channel!

Well, since this piece started in the spirit of reminding all to be good to their lovers, I offer the first in a new series – with a little help from one of my “friends” from the Boogie Down Bronx…

“Table Manners” – written by August Darnell and performed by Kid Creole & the Coconuts; first heard on their album ‘Fresh Fruits in Foreign Places’ – lyrics in italics)

When a pretty girl meet a handsome guy

And she bring him home for a little bite

When it’s understood that the food is good

And the night is young

And another would

Then he must oblige

Then he must oblige;

If a pretty girl has it figured right

That the handsome guy has an appetite

To provide the plate

She provide the tail

When she give the wine – she will take the cake

Then he must oblige

Then he must oblige

Where’s your table manners?

When a handsome guy doesn’t want dessert

And a pretty girl has her feelings hurt

If it’s understood the confection’s good

And she offer more than she really should

Then he must oblige

Then he must oblige

If the pretty girl know he can no’ eat

Then de handsome guy get a chance to sleep

You can bet your life if he doesn’t rise

She will wake him up

When it’s breakfast time;

And he must oblige – and he must oblige;

Where’s YOUR Table Manners?

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

That’s enough, that’s enough…

That’s ENOUGH!

You Wanna dream in style? (Owwwwww!) Stay awhile…c’mon… c’mon (Hold it! Hold it!)

You Wanna dream in style? Stay awhile (Owwww!) Come on (Get me Outta here!!!) Come on…

That’s enough, that’s enough – that’s enough!

When a pretty girl and a handsome guy

Gotta separate

Gotta say goodbye

If the price is right and the fruit is ripe

Then she order him – Come again – tonight!

Then he must oblige

Then he must oblige

If a pretty girl has it in her head

That the handsome guy – need a cook instead

When it’s understood that another would

As she wait for him to prepare the goods

Then he must oblige

Then he must oblige

Where’s Your Table Manners?

(Oooohhhh…Hold on; Ooooooohhh hold on…)

If the handsome guy has a brain or not

He should know that some

Like it very hot!

She provide de oil ‘she prefer to broil

If she weren’t allowed

‘Cause she’s very spoiled

And he must oblige – and he must oblige

When the pretty girl’s had enough to eat

Then de handsome guy get a chance to sleep

For a morning snack if he’s on his back

She will help herself; she will not attack

And he must oblige – and he must oblige;

Where’s YOUR Table Manners???

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

That’s enough, that’s enough – THAT’S ENOUGH!

You Wanna Dream In Style? (Owwwww!) Stay Awhile;

Come on (Hold it – Hold it Hold it Hold it!) Come on…

You Wanna Dream In Style? (Owwwww!) Stay Awhile Come On… (Git Me OUTTA Here!!!) Come On… (Owwww…)

That’s enough, that’s enough – THAT’S ENOUGH!

You Wanna Dream In Style? Stay Awhile!

Come on… Come on

That’s enough, that’s enough – THAT’S ENOUGH!

You Wanna Dream In Style? Stay Awhile!

Come on… (Get Me Outta Here – Aaaaooww!) Come on…

The playlist continues…