NFL 2010: Black & Fiction (Part 3)

By Michael Louis-Ingram, BASN Associate Editor
Updated: September 2, 2010

PHILADELPHIA (BASN) — Well, I have some good news…and some bad news.

The good news is that football is on its way (actually it’s been here since July, but my Cable system won’t provide me with my Canadian Football League fix — BOOOOOO Time Warner Cable!)

The bad news is that we’re gonna hear another season’s worth of bullshit from the talking heads who serve up a main course of disrespect along with a bitter side dish of fantasy.

For years now the concept of “best man plays” has been buried by disinformation, misinformation and pure-d propaganda; and always centered at the most important position in all of American sports — the quarterback.

Because unless that quarterback looks a certain way, he can’t possibly be an NFL quarterback. If he’s white and can run, he’ll be “praised for his intelligence to avoid the rush and show his mobility.”

If he’s Black and can run, he’ll be criticized for “not standing in the pocket” or “showing a lack of patience.” Whenever a compliment is given, it always seems left-handed in nature (“he’s letting his natural ability take over”). Suffice to say, it can be a wearing on the psyche to expend so much energy — to perpetuate so big a lie.

Lets us not forget it wasn’t that long ago that the National Football League placed unspoken quotas on the number of Black players that could be on the field at one time; and you definitely couldn’t be a quarterback on offense or defense.

If weren’t for the sheer force of talent coming from the American Football League (i.e. Marlin Briscoe at QB, Willie Lanier at middle linebacker) the NFL wouldn’t have relented on their modus operandi…

But it is a new season, and in The Deuce & Dime it is time to separate Black from fiction (at least from the QB position) by providing real facts and real analysis about those selected, traded or trick-bagged into playing something other than the spot they should be playing; along with predictions for who does what to whom (in 25 words or less per team).

Over the next week, the following will list the QBs for every NFL team; with special footnotes for the Brothas to better understand why the NFL really does not want the Black QB to be a symbol of success (stats include starting won-loss record, touchdown/interception ratio, completion percentage, career passer rating, post-season record and any awards given.

All stats courtesy of Pro-Football-Reference.com)

Yesterday, we examined the NFC South. Today, we look at the NFC North.

NORTH (Never ask how sausages – and NFL quarterback legends – are made; because too much bullshit is used in both…)

1. GREEN BAY PACKERS - Aaron Rodgers says, “Thanks for helping me to take your job, Brett!” (Not!)

2. MINNESOTA VIKINGS - Tarvaris Jackson throws for 400 yards; and they credit Favre for it. (No, Tarvaris – not the Ax! However, if Childress is in the vicinity…)

3. CHICAGO BEARS - One day Jay Cutler will throw six interceptions (Oops! Done that already; but he threw ‘em just like Favre did – the boy ain’t shit!)

4. DETROIT LIONS - Mr. Suh – we look forward to your up-close-and-personal relationship with Mr. Favre.

THE QBs:

BEARS: JAY CUTLER (24-29, 81/63, 61.9, 83.8, one Pro Bowl; plus 4 rushing TDs, 596 yards rushing, 3.9 average per carry. Todd Collins, (10-10, 22/19, 56.5 76.0, 0-1)

LIONS: MATTHEW STAFFORD (2-8, 13/20, 53.3, 61.0) Shaun Hill (10-6, 23/11, 61.7, 87.3) Drew Stanton is the other listed backup.

PACKERS: AARON RODGERS (17-15, 59/21, 63.9, 97.2, 0-1, one Pro Bowl; plus 9 rushing TDs, 570 yards, 4.6 average per carry) Matt Flynn is the listed backup.

VIKINGS: BRETT FAVRE (181-104, 497/317, 62.0, 86.6, 13-11, 11 Pro Bowls) Tarvaris Jackson (10-9, 21/18, 58.7, 77.9, 0-1) Sage Rosenfels (6-6, 30/29, 62.5, 81.2) Joe Webb is the other listed backup.

Overview: With his excuse (bum ankle) in tow, Brett Favre is ready to con Minnesota fans out of some more #4 jerseys, while further screwing Tarvaris Jackson, who had a loaded offensive team to work with. What was said to Favre in Mississippi may not have been, “Don’t have the Black Guy Take us to the Super Bowl!” – But it could well have been.

Now, Rodgers has no excuse, either. The team is loaded everywhere, and he is being touted as the next elite quarterback.

The guy previously touted as the next elite quarterback, Jay Cutler, is going to help get his coach fired. Unless free agent Julius Peppers sacks his cryin’ bitch-ass in practice, Lovie Smith will soon have a Bushwick Bill moment; leading to several double Hennesseys and the following lyric:

“I sit in my four-cornered room staring at candles!”

However, none of the mainstream’s puffed-up parrots will ever say Cutler is a bust…