Welcome To the Endzone: Coach Eric

By Eric D. Graham, BASN Staff Reporter
Updated: June 10, 2010

NORTH CAROLINA (BASN) — Today in the “Endzone” I will attempt to answer the question everybody wants to know — What do the Los Angeles Lakers need to do to win the 2010 NBA Championship over the Boston Celtics?

Coach Phil Jackson, take down some notes and listen good, because my coaching consultant fee is expensive. Plus, I charge by the minute. But in this case, I charge by the word.

KOBE BRYANT

You need to relax. Don’t force shots when you are not open. Find your sweet spot on the court. Drive to the basket. Believe in your team mates, but make the big shots when the pressure is on.

RON ARTEST

He must play under control. He must control his craziness. He must agitate. Agitate. And agitate. He must get under Paul Pierce’s skin. He must play bully ball. He must be a banger on the boards and collect every single rebound and loose ball possible. He also must limit his 3-pointers.But he must not be afraid to take the jumper when it’s open. He must, in effect play like he is from Queen Bridge Project.

PAU GASOL

He must play aggressive. It’s “Man up or shut up!!” No weak stuff!! No, girlie-man layups. To put it bluntly, Pau, you are either going to go hard or go home. Period. No excuses.

LAMAR ODUM

He must play above and beyond his ability. Lamar, in fact, must play like Lamar Odom and not like Lamar Kardashian. He must leave all of that reality show crap alone and focus solely on basketball. He must utilize his 6-foot-11 inch frame and play as if he was a franchise player instead of the six-man coming off the bench. He should, honestly change his name to “Lucky Lamar” and have alot of lucky games like he did against the Phoenix Suns Amar’e Stoudmaire.

ANDREW BYNUM

He must stay out of foul trouble. He must play like a grown man and not like a teenager. He must not be intimidated by Kendrick Perkins. He must play above the rim and snatch every offensive and defensive rebound coming off the rim. He definitely must provide some offensive tenacity down low. In other words, play hard and worry about your knee later.

DEREK FISHER

He must go face-to-face, chest-to-chest, chin-to-chin and toe-to-toe with Rajon Rondo by applying full court pressure on him and force him to shoot jump shots instead of layups. He also must continue being an offensive threat by shooting those long left-handed lasers from the 3-point line.

SHANNON BROWN

He must force Rajon Rondo to play defense. Therefore, he must be explosive on offensive and utilize his high-flying leaping ability in order to electrify the crowd and change the momentum of the game with a rim-rattling dunk. Brown also must force the Celtics to respect his outside jumper.

LUKE WALTON

You need to “D-up” and make your lay-ups.

JORDAN FARMER

You must “D-up” and make your jump shots.

SASHA VUJACIC

You must “D-up,” make your layups, and line up behind the three point line.

ADAM MORRISON

Just keep your mustache hairs out of your nose.