Straight No Chaser: The ‘White’ Knight

By Desi Cortez, BASN Columnist
Updated: April 24, 2010

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DENVER (BASN) — The unanswered prayers . . . answered, the human and animal sacrifices – well worth it . . . John Elway scrambles again.

The Mile-Hi Metropolis sports fans – starved, starved, starved I say for another Great White Hope, have had their pleas to the gridiron gods satisfied.

After many, many moons, a replacement for No. 7 has descended from the heavens to bring pro-pigskin dominance back to the Rocky Mountains.

Dramatic, no?

Get use to it. Before the first pre-season snap in August, Tim Tebow, the golden child who survived an attempt by godless liberals to abort him will be seen walking on water, healing the sick n’ raising the dead . . . without breaking a sweat.

Tebow is suppose to usher in a new era in Bronco history, a return to yesteryear, 1962 actually, when players came equipped with high morals and values, ate apple pie and drank only Coke.

They loved their mother, their country, Richard Nixon, and actually knew and lived with their father. This pick goes deeper, further and broader then 100 yards.

You want to know what the critical factors, the pure stimulus in drafting Tebow? Well, its embodied in terms like “image branding” “the face of the franchise” and “marketability.” Translation; Will White people buy his Jersey? A Bronco’s cap, or night light maybe.

That’s the prime motivating factor; if this rare “athletic” White QB pans out, if he can play the game like Vince Young . . . . If all TT does is win like VY . . . , who was lambasted for just winning, this golden boy will be anointed, given the Keys to the city in the clouds.

The standards are lowered for Great White Hopes.

The Davie-Brown Index, an independent marketing research tool, declared Tebow to be more appealing and more of a trendsetter than New England’s Tom Brady, Minnesota’s Brett Favre and Dallas’ Tony Romo among others.

The index is popular among brand marketers and agencies, presenting 1,000 respondents around the country with a name and a face of athletes and celebrities.

What’s this say?

John Lynch, who was herded into the Bronco barn, long past his crunching prime, let go a year or two ago, can still be heard on the radio pitching products. Peyton Hollis, being a member of an endangered spices – White running backs, was embraced,endorsed and elevated to “golden boy” status instantly, like Quaker oatmeal or Folgers coffee.

Mike Shanahan is now positioned in Washington D.C., heading up the Savages, nonetheless he’s still selling diamonds and furs on the radio.

The Broncos, like every other team in the league, has been annually predominated by Afro-Americans, yet you seldom hear any of them selling anything. The merchant class has determined there’s minimal consumer demand in the Denver market for any of them.

Their endorsing a product – harbors no value. The Bronco fan-base, like the state/region is vastly all-Caucasian and have little interest in purchasing “gangsters” and “thugs” uniforms, however they wheel around town with Republican and Democrat bumper stickers on their cars.

And as we all are aware – all the Black players, like most Black folks – are hoods, thieves, drug dealers and womanizing quasi-pimps.

Now, with Tebow, descending down from the clouds . . . the only words you’re going to hear . . .

works hard, work ethic, humble, competitiveness, work ethic, leadership, traits of a winner, intelligence, toughness, productivity, all the code words employed to depict the white player.

850 KOA, a 50’000 Watt Blowtorch, the official voice of the Broncos, a once prestigious flagship of the Clear Channel fleet, was lite-up draft night with born again Broncos gushing over the Teabow pick, the kid will bring “Character” to a squad, a league desperately in need of a touch from god.

Now note, these eruptions were predictable, today the station is nothing more then a volcanic bon-fire which spit’s fire n’ brimstone around the clock. It’s ” angry White man hour every hour of the day, everyday.

Be you a Redneck, Archie Bunker or an aristocratic fat-cat – KOA, and it’s sister station, 630 KHOW provide angry White guys with all they crave – Rush and Beck, filled-in with local pied-pipers like Peter Boyles and Dan Caplis, who have their eye-sites and trigger-fingers honed in on all the Tea Party talking points.

Obama’s an illegal alien, a bastard whose folks were never married, whose mother was . . .

a lying whore infatuated with men of color. Hey pull the tape – they beat these war drum endlessly.

So much so, if this brilliant President is gunned down . . . these two stations, their host, like the scores of other racist, sexist and elitist host across the country. . .

will have the blood of the Barack Obama on their mics.

Despite Obama adopting Denver as his Rocky Mountain base, the city, the state, the region is a bastion, a stronghold of conservative thought – i.e. , racism, sexism and elitism run deep under the continental divide.

The racist antics we’re witnessing in Arizona, Brown people being harassed if they don’t have their papers . . . that’s coming to Colorado next.

Aging White males, and their female property – both paranoid and angry . . . they’ve lost the battle for the hearts n’ minds of the American people.

Everyday, if you can bare to monitor the enemy, you can hear how “we’re losing our country”, they moan, groan, bitch and complain infinitely about how this land is not their land anymore.

Aint that a bitch! I wonder how the American native feels when he hears that genuine, authenticity frontier gibberish?

Tim Tebow presents an opportunity for these “real god-fearing Americans” to re-establish their presence and dominance in America’s national pastime.

The Bronco brain-trust is well aware of who and what their fan base is . . . and Denver aint Miami, the Big Apple nor San Fran; With Focus on the Family, those fanatical Christian fundamentalist headquartered up in Colorado Springs, Wyoming just up the road, where you still have landmarks like ……. and they hang gay people . . .

“Tom Cat” Brady fathered an illegitimate mancub, Drew Brees dared to dwell in the busome of the beast, the original Sin City, Naw Leans, Brett Favre is a one-time druggie, an abuser of firewater, and Peyton Manning won’t accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior . . . . Nevertheless Tim Tebow is above all that mortal frailty . . . he’s a christian athlete.

God, please, please, please . . . protect me from your followers.

I can only phantom few within the Bronco Organization have calculated; how Tebow, who’s already, strategically aligned himself with this nation’s far right, the anti-abortion nuts, as well as; his decision to do so – was defended by Sarah Palin, the women who it appears has deliberately injected White rage into the national political discourse, attracted White supremest to her political rallies, charged the President with hangin’ out with terrorist, and become the poster-witch for a political charade called the Tea Party Movement, which I can tell you is nothing more then a collection of disgruntled White people freaked out over the aspect of White people not dictating American Culture . . . .

No, I don’t think the front office weighed n’ measured how Tim Tebow will play in the locker room over the next couple of seasons as he becomes a pawn, a tool the Conservative movement wants to pimp and exploit for political gain?

There may be a few heathens, sinners, liberals, progressive in the locker room . . . who’ll beg to differ with some of Tebow’s very public positions.

No, Jake the Snake, Brain, son of Bob the Griese Gun, Jay Cutler, Chris Simms, son of Phil, the Great Giant . . . not the real deal, but now, they may have found that one in the pristine White Knight . . . Tim Tebow.