Straight No Chaser: The Naked Truth

By Desi Cortez, BASN Columnist
Updated: February 24, 2010

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DENVER (BASN) — Oh, My God!!!!

Mike Vick has been asked by the ladies at Playgirl magazine to pose, or rather expose his super-structure. How dare they give him such a manly stage without asking Dan Patrick or Rush Limbaugh permission.

So, this is what America is regressing down into, what Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity are whining about; some mythical high standards and values the nation is drifting away from.

See! This is what happens . . . when you soften, allow women to speak their mind, voice their likes, dislikes and interest. This is what happens when you weaken, let Black folks participate in society.

Mike Vick’s redemption, resurrection and public erection . . . is what the segregation and exclusion was about – trying to avoid this very moment when White men don’t have absolute supreme control over everything and everybody.

You know who’s most peeved, most pissed about this don’t you? Yeah, the usual holier-than-thou crowd. In Vick’s case – the alligator shoe-wearing WASP hunters and fishermen and their Mink wearing, leather purse toting wives.

They’re livid because a boy they’d thought they’d branded and bared from public life – executed, eliminated, silenced – has risen from the prison graveyard . . . . and they feel a little dissed, somewhat inadequate.

And at the end of the day . . . a tad betrayed, not just by those who gave Vick a soft NFL landing — Andy Reid and No. 5 — but by the women demanding to see his physical manhood.

Granted it’s not quite this deep nor dramatic, nonetheless Vick, in the minds of the conservative establishment, represents the defiant one; Nat Turner, Cochise, Huey P. Newton, Crazy Horse . . .ala Stokely Carmichael shouting “Black Power.”

And, to add insult to an already real sense of inferiority embed within angry White guys . . . White women want to see Vick naked, not merely butt naked, but penis naked.

Manhood, endowment, style, walk, feel and flavor, these are all aspects of manhood, black mannhood women appreciate . . . and a number of White fellas feel uncomfortable with.

This is the 400-year-old nightmare come-to-life for millions of White men.

Black men garnering the lust and interest of all women, including White women.

Yet, we’re not permitted to discuss this controversy from this perspective, the perspective of people-of-color in public – only at sports bars, backyard Bar-b-ques, picnics, bowling alleys, family dens, classrooms, firehouses . . .

And please note, ain’t no demand to see Aqua Boy Phelps or some cross-country skier butt-naked. No, women want to see a dog fighting degenerate, an once arrogant cat who breed fighting dogs, who killed dogs, gambled on their lives.

A man who made luv to Mary Jane, and while in the process of making love to other merry Janes, he supposedly is stricken with a case of Herpes simplex 77 – which is like Samsonite Steamer Trunks – you haul it around with you for life . . . ?

No matter, in the eyes of women . . and that includes hot snow bunnies, there’s a belief Mike Vick is Valley of the Burning Bush hot.

This female infatuation with Black Mnadingos is both insulting and unsettling to the everyday Fred n’ Barney. If only “real Americans” still had complete absolute rule of thumb over “their country” and “their women folk” – then this crap would’ve never happened.

See, that’s the America of yesteryear, a time n’ place Tea-Baggers long for, the good ole days . . . when everybody knew their place, and if you didn’t, angry White men could put you in their assigned place for your black ass, they’d call you all the names they bitch about not being able to say today – halted by charges of being politically incorrect.

Sit-down bitch, shut-up nigger, get out of here you dumb spec, move chink . . . the traditional American vernacular.

This female demand to see a stripped Vick is one of the main reason’s Willie Thrower could not play QB in the 1950′s, nor Marlin Briscoe in the 60′s, James Harris in the 70′s, Randal Cunningham in the 80′s or Warren Moon in the 90′s . . .

there’s no way, repeat no flippin-way Willie was going to compete/dominate and be rewarded with the same fame, glitter n’ gleam being showered upon WASP fraternity brothers like Frank Gifford and Bobby Layne.

This nation was not about to bronze the Alpha-Male/Golden Boy position by anointing Black men, by, dig this . . . allowing fair competition.

Black athletes and entertainers winning the desires and attention of White women has historically been the defining element, the motivating factor in not allowing Blacks into mainstream USA.

But currently White guys have developed short-term memory loss, and just can’t recall all that institutional racism and sexism blanketing the nation for a few hundred years.

I’m suppose to think Vick hanging out in Playgirl strikes no cord within a nation which is, because of the election of a black President – now colorblind.

Think Elvis -there’s a list of Black cats Elvis was imitating and emulating; Jackie Wilson, Muddy Watters, Clyde McPhatter, Little Richard and Bo Diddly – but America was “not ready” for the real thing.

Elvis shaking his ass and grinding his hips was too much, too Black . . . but to actually have Black men out there exciting little teenage girls . . . that my friend was too much.

The same principal applies here. Frustrated has-beens, i.e., Jock sniffers . . . sports journalist, along with sports-fans – have never been ready to accept Black men going from “too inept to participate” to dominating and redefining the games this nation plays.

Let-alone being your neighbor, boss, brother-in-law . . . President. Such a mind-set explains the reception Vick got from day one in the league – a cold shoulder, scorn, over-the-top criticism.

A constant chorus of good-ole-boys demanding guys like Vick . . . and McNabb, Vince Young, be moved to . . .

non-thinking positions.

Sports-fans actual worry; the Black gladiator, like Vick, if nutured and supported, would redefine the QB position, as we’ve done with running back, reciever and defensive back, redefined to the point . . . White cats simply can’t compete at that slot . . . forget dominate.

With that at stake, the Black QB, as McNabb stated – has a much more difficult path to navigate. His journey is against all odds. Half the nation is rooting for the Afro-American signal caller to fail, blow his head off . . . ask Vince Young.

The women who read Playgirl want to see an “alpha-male” de-robed – this urging ignites a flame under the behinds of millions of angry White males . . . and the sports message boards will reflect that disdain and dislike instantly, and when this copy of Playgirl hits the streets, the you know what will hit the fan.

It’s akin to President Obama’s rock star like status; one does not have to be a genius to grasp the amount of hate this man generates; The death threats are coming in at an alarming unprecedented rate – the president’s popularity inflames the conservative slices of the American pie – and, to see women, White women swooning over Obama in a way George Bush could never generate, well, that’s just disgusting in the eyes of . . . millions.

Mike Vick may have been abandoned, crucified by the conservative elements across the nation, but here we stand after the 09′ season and society is ready to welcome him back . . .

Butt naked even.