Rome Is Truly Burning

By Eric D. Graham, BASN Staff Reporter
Updated: February 6, 2010

NORTH CAROLINA (BASN) — On Sunday evening, some 90 million people will watch the Indianapolis Colts play the New Orleans Saints in Super Bowl XLIV in Miami?

Super Bowl what!! Can we please get rid of the Roman numerals!!!

The majority of us in America already have difficulties speaking in Spanish. Si, mi amigos. That’s the best I can do and I took two years of Spanish in college.

While we most of us can’t speak Spanish and can’t understand Roman numerals, the other half of us have a hard time simply counting “regular” numbers over a 100.

I draw this conclusion after purchasing a $3.99 bag on salty Tostitos from Wal-Mart in preparation for a Super Bowl party in which the cashier caught an attitude and rolled her eyes and her neck in a circular motion while placing her hand on her hip cause I paid for it with a hundred bill and she couldn’t give me the correct change back.

I blame it all on the America public school system because all these Roman numerals behind the Super Bowls are getting ridiculous. All of those X’s, L’s, V’s are confusing me.

Tell the truth!! You know, you don’t know what Super Bowl it is?

So, stop pretending

Because it is starting to look like alphabet soup and my brain is scrambled.

I understand America is the modern day Rome and these newly constructed NFL dome stadiums represent the ancient coliseums of old, Jerry Jones plus these football players are our modern day versions of gladiators fighting to the death for the entertainment of its citizens, whose cheers get louder as the battles get bloodier.

I know all of this by watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand on the Starz Network. But it’s no coincidence that the public school system is failing. Divorce is on the rise.

Homosexuality is becoming the norm and the American dollar is losing value because America like ancient Rome is declining. That’s right and it’s no coincidence that the Saints are in the Super Bowl.

All historians and scholars agree, that it was the spread of Christianity or “when the Saints came marching in” that brought Rome to its knees.

Now, here we are at the crossroad and Rome is burning.

So please, throw away those Roman numerals, burn them to the ground.

Let them crumble like Tony Romo under pressure

It’s Super Bowl 44, for Christ sakes. Besides, I still think XL means Extra Large. Not 40 Cheese Pizzas.

Hell, I grew up on Hip-Hop so I still think “LL” means the Ladies Love Cool J.

And according to Elijah Muhammad, the “X” means unknown and this Black History Month people. Remember, Malcolm X.

So please, get rid of the Roman Numerals….it’s Super Bowl 44!