Seven & Out: Week #7

By Michael-Louis Ingram, BASN Staff Reporter
Updated: October 30, 2009

PHILADELPHIA (BASN) — It took a bit longer than usual, but there was so much Ass Whuppin’ going on last week, it took until now to pry all the feet from all those posteriors! Given the total carnage, this edition should be sub-titled, “Seven under Siege.”

GIMME FIVE!! : In the Philadelphia Eagles’ 27-17 win over the Washington Redskins on Monday night, quarterback Donovan McNabb became one of just four players in NFL history to have at least 30,000 passing yards (30,088), 200 touchdowns passes, 3,000 rushing yards (3,169) and 20 rushing touchdowns (27). McNabb joined NFL legends and Pro Football Hall of Famers John Elway, Fran Tarkenton, and Steve Young in accomplishing the milestone.

Now check out what was scribbled by the NFL; if we were to frame this statement and save it for when McNabb was ready for the Hall of Fame, some non-football playing ass wipe who beats his meat to Fantasy Football will say, “well, he’s good, but not good enough for Canton; besides, he sucked on my fantasy team, man!”

ACTION JACKSON : Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson scored on a 67-yard touchdown run (career long) and a 57-yard touchdown reception on Monday night against the Redskins.

Jackson became only the second player in team history to have a rushing and receiving touchdown of 50-plus yards in the same game ( Bosh Pritchard on 10/23/49 vs. Washington – 75-yard reception, 77-yard rush). All five of Jackson’s touchdowns this season have been for 50-plus yards (85-yard punt return; 71-yard reception; 64-yard reception; 67-yard rush; 57-yard reception).

Jackson has now posted a receiving touchdown, rushing touchdown and a punt return touchdown in each of his first two seasons.

Jackson joined Pittsburgh’s Louis Lipps (1984-85), Chicago’s Ray McLean (1940-41), Cleveland’s Bobby Mitchell (1958-59) and Washington’s Dick Todd (1939-40) as only the fifth player in NFL history to accomplish the feat.

As spectacular a feat as Jackson’s is, you want the stats to hopefully mean wins. Jackson has improved his technique in running patterns is fearless over the middle and down the sidelines. Eagles’ fans can only hope he’ll last the season…

VICTORY : Indianapolis Colts rookie head coach Jim Caldwell improved to 6-0 with a 42-6 victory over St. Louis and tied for the best start by a rookie head coach since 1970. In Week 6, Denver Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels also tied the mark in the Broncos’ 34-23 victory over the San Diego Chargers.

 

The best starts by a rookie head coach since 1970 :

 

HEAD COACH TEAM

RECORD TO START CAREER

FINAL RECORD IN FIRST SEASON

Chuck Knox ’73 Rams

6-0

12-2

Red Miller ’77 Broncos

6-0

12-2

Mike Martz ’00 Rams

6-0

10-6

Josh. McDaniels ’09 Broncos

6-0

??

Jim Caldwell ’09 Colts

6-0

??

 

Caldwell also became the fourth head coach to lead his team to a 6-0 start the year after replacing a head coach with 100-plus career regular-season wins.

 

The head coaches to lead their team to a 6-0 start the year after replacing a head coach with 100+ career regular-season wins :

 

HEAD COACH TEAM

YEAR

RECORD

FORMER HEAD COACH, WINS
Blanton Collier Browns

1963

6-0

Brown, 111
Jack Pardee Redskins

1978

6-0

Allen, 116
Josh McDaniels Broncos

2009

6-0

Shanahan, 146
Jim Caldwell Colts

2009

6-0

Dungy, 139

 

 

Now notice in all of those cute little boxes, two intriguing omissions: The overall lack of publicity by the media in praising Dungy protégé Jim Caldwell, while Josh McDaniels is anointed as savior-in-waiting. I guess Peyton Manning won all those games under Dungy and Caldwell by himself, but this is no disrespect to Peyton because he’s earned his props; I’m just tired of the inequity in not pumping up both coaches.

 

 

Caldwell is the wrong color for this NFL; or any NFL for that matter. When you consider Dungy won 139 games and they held him back from a head coach spot for at least 6-8 years, there could be 200 wins on Dungy’s slate.

 

 

Add up the wins by The Dungy protégés {yes even Raheem Morris!} and weigh them against the Super Genius and his whelps, and Dungy kicks Belicheat’s ass!)

 

Let’s just see who ends up with more wins when the season ends between those two; if I’m wrong, I will purchase a nice pinot noir to be served with my crow…

 

Last but Least: the Seven under Siege

St. Louis Rams: Lambs have been led out to slaughter all season. The mainstream assholes try to protect QB Marc Bulger, but let’s call this song exactly what it is – Lambs have the worst offense (60 points scored) in the league.

Tennessee Titans: Tightwads say money talks, bullshit runs the marathon; play Vince Young to bail out the franchise – and Kerry Collins – again. So Bud Adams says give the shot to VY because he’s tired of applying KY to grease the skids for a complete team meltdown – besides, Young will make a great scapegoat!

Cleveland Browns: Clowns are a disgrace. The front office, general manager, head coach, the politicking in screwing up a Pro Bowl quarterback for his expensive, not-ready-for-prime-time teammate? This kibble is being served weakly to some of best fans in football. Well, this shouldn’t happen to a Dawg…

Kansas City Chiefs: Say what you want about Larry Johnson; while we’re not down with the slur, we are down with the truth – Johnson was right! Todd Haley can’t coach for shit! Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The (Already) Out the Way Buccaneers are walking their own plank; winless, defenseless and their first win has yet to clear customs… Detroit Lions: With one win in the bank, all is well in the Mild Kingdom, where Matthew Stafford is King of the Leasts…

Washington: In spite of the two wins, we have a selfish owner strong-arming little old lady season ticket holders; an incompetent head coach who wants his starting QB to fail (don’t believe me? Look at the plays they have him calling!) But worst of all – a game day staff working as Banner Gestapo against righteously indignant fans! Ach, Herzlich! Fight for old D.C., indeed…

As always, gang – once the point is established, throw a seven – and you crap out!