Seven & Out: Week #6

By Michael-Louis Ingram, BASN Staff Reporter
Updated: October 19, 2009

PHILADELPHIA (BASN)Each week, the League confesses seven deadly whims; and we’re here to decipher the sins – from the wins…

 

But first, a tip of the hat to 7& reader Rob Daniels – who offered a significant aside to the question in last week’s column, “How many of Kurt Warner’s 50 300 yard games did he win?” Daniels said, “31 out of 50.”

 

You know, Rob — I can roll with that. 31 up and 19 down means Warner’s passing stats were integral to his team’s overall success, and not filler for some fantasy freak.

 

The holidays are coming, and I have your address, Rob. Rest assured Rasta Claus will send you something to put under the tree…

 

Today’s Menu:

New England quarterback Tom Brady passed for 380 yards and ties a franchise record with six touchdown passes in the Patriots’ 59-0 win against Tennessee. Brady threw five touchdowns in the second quarter and became the first quarterback in NFL history with five touchdown passes in a quarter.

 

In all likelihood, Brady will also be the first QB to get bitch-slapped in the regular season the moment the opportunity presents itself. This ain’t the fuckin’ BCS! New England is up 45-0, yet they’re still throwing the ball, and Brady’s still in the game.

 

 

I’m all for whippin’ dat azz, but if Brady had wanted to show what a real leader looked like, he could’ve just audibled and ran the ball the whole second half. When you add the new pom-pom rule {don’t hurt my Tommy!} it further taints whatever accomplishments Brady had earned thanks to his cheatin’ ass head coach.

 

 

You’d think Belicheat’d know better by now, after having the Giants beat the shit out of his 18-1 ass! Showing up an opponent should have been a lesson learned, but noooooo!

 

 

Stay tuned, y’all; because what comes around…

 

Arizona quarterback Kurt Warner threw for 276 yards in the Cardinals’ 27-3 victory over the Seattle Seahawks. Warner (30,032) surpassed 30,000 career passing yards in his 114th career game, tying Pro Football Hall of Famer Dan Marino for the fewest number of games to accomplish the feat in NFL history.

 

 

Kudos to Warner for this milestone, but does this make him a Hall of Famer? I’m slightly leaning to yes – but there are at least three who’d better be in Canton before Warner even entertains a thought: try Ken Andersen, Randall Cunningham and Ken Stabler.

 

New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees passed for 369 yards in the Saints’ 48-27 win over the New York Giants. Brees has passed for 15,310 yards in 53 games since joining the Saints in 2007, becoming the fastest quarterback to reach 15,000 passing yards with a team. The previous mark was 56 games set by Pro Football Hall of Famer Dan Marino (Miami) and Marc Bulger (St. Louis).

 

 

It seems each week we find at least one bullshit stat – and when it comes to Brees, all of these fantasy foreplay numbers still hide the fact Brees is only 55-51 career as a starting quarterback; oh, and the last time Brees was 5-0 out the gate, the team ended up 8-8 – and out of the playoffs. As Eugene “Mercury” Morris would say, “Call me if you’re in my neighborhood” – come December.

 

New Orleans had seven different players score a touchdown against the New York Giants to improve to 5-0. The Saints became the fourth team since 1970 to have seven different players score a rushing or receiving touchdown in a game. The Seattle Seahawks (10/30/1977 vs. Buffalo Bills), Cincinnati Bengals (12/17/1989 vs. Houston Oilers) and Jacksonville Jaguars (12/23/2007 vs. Oakland) also accomplished the feat.

 

 

I’ve a feeling the Saints are gonna need some of those points a couple months from now; especially away from the Dome Depot.

 

Jacksonville wide receiver Torry Holt had five receptions for 101 yards in the Jaguars’ 23-20 overtime win against St. Louis. Holt, who had 12,670 receiving yards in 10 seasons with the Rams, became the first player in NFL history to post 100 yards in his first game against a team for which he had at least 10,000 receiving yards.

 

 

Playing well – and winning – is the best revenge…

 

Holt also reached 13,000 receiving yards (13,066) in his 164th career game, becoming the third-fastest to accomplish the feat. Only Jerry Rice (154) and Marvin Harrison (162) reached 13,000 yards in fewer games.

 

 

Told you the brother was smooth- next stop, Canton.

 

Minnesota quarterback Brett Favre threw for 278 yards and three touchdowns in the Vikings’ 33-31 victory over Baltimore. Favre has now passed for at least two touchdowns in 11 consecutive games at the Metrodome (eight with Green Bay, three with Minnesota), tied for the third-longest streak (Jim Everett, Anaheim Stadium, 1989-90) with the most consecutive games with multiple TD passes at one stadium. Favre (Lambeau Field, 1994-96) and Kurt Warner (Trans World Dome/Edward Jones Dome, 1999-2000) each had a streak of 12 games, the longest in NFL history.

 

 

They say it’s better to be lucky than good; well if Minny is 8-0 at midseason, luck won’t have anything to do with it.

 

Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger led the Steelers to a 27-14 victory over Cleveland. Roethlisberger has now won all 10 of his starts against the Browns and is only the second player since 1970 to win each of his first 10 regular-season starts against one team. The last player to start 10-0 against one opponent was Pro Football Hall of Famer John Elway (against New England).

 

 

Well, it’s a lot easier to lead your team to victory when the referees are as blind as fucking BATS! Even Stevie Wonder could see that was not a first down, but, then again, the Seattle Seahawks know about getting screwed by referees when playing against Roethlisberger and the Steelers. I’m still waiting for his ass to score that touchdown from the “Get Jerome ‘Bus’ Bettis a Ring” Super Bowl, let alone get the “first down” against Cleveland.

 

 

If I’m a Browns fan, especially after watching the first down farce magnified on the big screen, I’m even more insulted. {Sir, let me confirm your order: That’s One Royal Screwing, Hold the KY – with a side of Disrespect; you wanna be fried with that?

 

 

Always remember, gang — once the point is made, roll a seven — you crap out!