Straight No Chaser: The Mean Season

By Desi Cortez, BASN Columnist
Updated: September 1, 2009

We are all born brave, trusting and greedy, and most of us remain greedy”. . . .

— Mignon McLaughlin.

DENVER (BASN) — The El Dorado Kid’s big toe has swelled up, looks like Shaq’s thumb. Matt Cassell is out for a few weeks, Matt Schaub is banged up . . . All because the NFL can never make enough money. Money is like sex, as far as most men are concerned . . . you can never have enough of either.

Make no mistake, I’m no bible totin’ deacon. I believe any of the world’s religions to be . . . little more then man-made fairy tales, configured to lessen man’s anxiety about what happens upon death, and to of-course keep him in line . . . a gun bible in one hand, a pint of firewater in the other, a gun in the back pocket . . . how the US was built.

Now, I do believe in a superior entity, which I can only conclude crafted the world we dwell in. I hit my goddamn knees every night, thank the gods for life, but I’m no religious fruitcake.

I’ve never looked at a pig’s ass, and thought I saw the Virgin Mary appear right in the center. . . .

The 10 Commandments sound like everybody’s grand parent’s words to live by, but not necessarily the deepest prophecies carved into stone tablets via lighting . . . but that version sells more books then Grandpa’s scribbling on a Azar’s Big Boy napkin . . . women are more likely to be convinced to walk around in living room curtains instead of topless, in a thong – if God says so, as opposed to their husband.

So I hope you understand why I have a “God please protect me from your followers” bumper sticker on my forehead. I ‘m a practicing, to the point of perfection – heathen, and damn proud of it.

Nonetheless, I believe what will bring the American Empire to its knees will be our collective . . . self-indulgence, selfishness of a biblical proportion. Our unbridled, unashamed love of money – which manifest itself within individuals, institutions and organizations throughout the nation – in a wide array of shapes and forms.

Gluttony even manifests itself in an organization like the NFL, for it appears as plain as the day is long – the NFL preseason is too long. If nothing else, its present day four-game long schedule could be reduced by 50% . . . the needless injuries demand it.

Tom Brady , Carson Palmer, Brett Favre, Rothelisberger – already beat-up, going into the season openers, and for what? To warm them up? Come on, get the hell out of here, these professional gladiators are just that. Vick said it; it was like riding a bike, it comes back to you.

If “it” comes back to No. 7, after a two year forced exile, and confinement, then golly geebers, if you spent the last 90 day off-season with your personal guru, chef, chiropractor, trainer, masseuse etc., then any dumb-ass, with a public education can assume . . . “it” never went away!

Controlled scrimmages, inter-squad scrimmages . . . that ought be enough to determine who can play, and who can’t.

For what reason this madness play’s out every late summer . . . ? An extreme yearning, on the behalf of NFL owners, to amass more money. That’s it. An unabashed luv of . . . more.

The players hate it, the fan’s realize almost half the cat’s they’re watching will be joining the ranks of this nation’s unemployed, at best working at their Uncle Herman’s cleaners in a few weeks.

Voracity, in the form of the NFL, seeking to expand it’s operating platform, eventually teams in Canada, Mexico, London, China, down under in Australia , not because the league want’s to spread goodwill and cheer thru the American pastime football, but because of the revenue streams which can be created.

Players will suit up for 26 or 28 games before you know it. Why? Profit. Pure and simple. Mo’ money.

This nation’s at war, again in order to expand the empire, to acquire more natural resources, Black Gold, Texas Tea , more money, and more power.

America forbids health care to its citizens, rations it out, at a price – in order to assure mo’ money for the medical/pharmaceutical/insurance industry.

The banking industry – notorious for gorging it’s customers with “fees”, in order to deepen it’s pockets. Like the Tobacco industry, targeting young folks. Hundreds of designer gadget loans crafted to empty your pockets.

The Auto industry, in pursuit of obscene profits, attempting to hang on to all their money . . . Toyota repeatedly forced lawyers to illegally withhold information from victims of hundreds of roll-over accidents that resulted in deaths and injuries.

No different then Ford, almost forty years ago hiding the fact Pintos and Mavericks were rolling gas tanks with plastic Hot Wheels bumpers.

Affordable housing in the United States is a joke. Dig this, here in Colorado, the exclusive conclaves in the mountain towns like Glenwood Springs – the teachers, fireman and police who serve and protect their community . . . can’t afford to buy a home in that community.

The Yuppies, the ballers, the aristocrats have deliberately priced them out.

Same thing in the city, segregation – based on class; those with more, making sure they monopolize the tools needed to acquire the American Dream.

Obtaining a quality education . . . depends in great part on money. From the funding of K-12 public education to prestigious institutions of higher learning where pedigrees are rewarded, where off-spring of the rich go – to make all the “right” connections Wealthy folks controlling the essential means demanded to climb the social/economical ladder.

And when you don’t have that quality education to go with big time money . . but you’ve an insatiable hunger for mo’ everything . . .

then a fool is quickly separated from his money.

The Nugget’s Carmelo Anthony, he ain’t too mellow – because honey . . . his money is funny.

Same story, but an individual, a hardwood Spartan, Carmelo Anthony, who’s been taken to the cleaners by some slicksters here in the Mile Hi metropolis, hustlers with titles, in three grand suits and crocodile loafers. But let’s play Dick flippin’ Tracy . . . lets pour a shot of Patron, sit for a moment – untwist the riddle that is . . . unchecked gluttony paired with ignorance.

Why is Anthony sittin’ over in the corner on his ball, yeah, greed, wanting to be . . . richer. Not just “rich” cause he’s already that, but richer. Yet, because he hasn’t taken advantage of both a free higher enlightenment via his athletic scholarship nor with the millions he has accumulated since he stepped on an NBA hardwood – he’s not tried to obtain a education which might have afforded him the knowledge to either intelligently invest his own millions, or be better equipped to pick his business partners.

Had he been greedy when it came to acquiring knowledge, had he sought to build his brain, and not just his jumper, perhaps he could have avoided trusting the wisdom of a . . . stranger.

Poverty wants much, but greed wants every damn thing. P. Syrus