Straight No Chaser: The Looking Glass

By Desi Cortez, BASN Columnist
Updated: June 11, 2009

DENVER (BASN) — So, if you dig what I’m trying to do here, my Paul Revere ride thru the midnight lite sky, trying to ring that bell, deliver that 4:27 AM wake your ass-up call to Black America, you might dig this.

Please recognize, attempting to awake the semi-comatose . . . is more difficult than healin’ the sick and raisin’ the dead.

If you’re diggin’ all that’s going on in-between my words – then you pick-up on where my head and heart lie. If my lifetime “husky” butt had been fast enough, and old enough, I’d raised my fist with Tommy Smith and John Carlos at the 68′ Mexico Olympics , at least I like to think I’d have had the gonads to.

And , no doubt you see the NFL is the battleground which interest me most, where I feel at home comparing and contrasting the social sciences with this country’s official national pastime. Economics, race and gender issues as well as politics and religion are woven into sports, all you have to do is look deeper then the “X’s” n’ “O’s . . .

When the Doctor left his Philly office, stop making Sunday morning house calls, World B Free and Chocalate Thunder ran they’re course . .

. I pretty much turned the NBA off. I didn’t participate in the “Jordan Era.” I didn’t name my son Jordan, I don’t wear his draws, and, as a individual, a man, I think MJ is one weak, punk-ass of a shallow man.

Rain puddle deep. His refusal to use his name and fame for something heavier and deeper then deepening his own pockets – illustrated to me – what we had here was another OJ, another brainless scarecrow who couldn’t be bothered with the petty ills and woes of the little people, the folks he was leaving behind.

So no, I detached from the NBA.

Wesley Snipes, President of the official Inter-planetary Brotherhood of Brothers – requested my Black Man ID card, Black Man Condoms and my “over-40” Black Man’s hip-hop rapper decoder earrings . . . .

Nonetheless, I digress . . . .

If I only had the ability to see the other side of tomorrow . . . .

I lay awake at night, mulling over more then “why” water is wet and fire is hot. I ponder deeper, heavier thoughts; who’ll win the AFC West, the NFC South . . .

If I could only see as far as February, as in S-Bowl. Will Manning turn against Jim Caldwell by mid-season if the Colt’s aren’t 7 and 1 . . . ? And I wonder if the North-Siders, Korea that is, will follow Little Kim into war with the West – US that is.

I’d follow the man-made synthetic entertainer “Little Kim” to North Korea, Antarctica, Madagascar . . . .I wonder how many bumbles and fumbles it’ll take from Culpepper before the elf’s handful of folks still living in the Motorless City start demanding the league’s latest Great White Hope, Matty Strafford, be snatched-off the bench and thrown to the Lions?

To lead them, or be eaten with them.

I wish I knew if this might be the year Mr. Kim Kardashian steps-up down in The Big Easy? Will he magically sprout testicles, run as hard between the tackles as my Aunt Pearl or Aunt Ophelia would? Because at this point . . . Reggie Bush can’t hold Gale Sayers’ jock.

We were fools to think this tom-boy was half-the-man the Kansas Comet was. He may actually have a Bush he needs to trim . . . based on how Sally-Mae soft he plays.

By this fall, will Petro be 5.07 a gallon? And if it were to get to the point you just walk up to the cashier at the gas station, hand the guy a jar of cheap ass Wal-Mart Vaseline – that industrial petroleum jelly you can lube a wagon train wheel with . . . . and bend over, hands on your knees . . . , if it gets to this point, will we, as “we the people,” at least protest outside their corporate offices and their CEO or SOB’s summer estate?

I wonder if the Vikings will go after Vick with the same passion they went after the ageless GWH, Brett Favre? Envision stopping this; Vick, Percy Harvin, Bernard Berrian, a seasoned Sidney Rice and AP.

Please, please please . . . tell me this is not lethal

Exactly where, and precisely when, screw “if” . . . will Big Dick Cheney, the supreme Overlord reining over angry White folks – decide its time for another 9/11. When will he orchestrate that catastrophe, pull the strings, make the calls?

Where will Halerburton hit us, the US? You know, if he gets away with this . . . .

one more time –guys like Chuck Norris and Glen Beck can storm the Black House, Texas and South Carolina will leave the so called ‘Union,” and a Top GOP Senator, like Orin Hatch can demand impeachment hearings . . . .

Will Joe “the Quarterback” Flacco, “our man Flac,” be “the man” this year, or was he simply lucky last season? No Rex Ryan – son of Bud. No more “managing the game” now he has to lead.

Will health care ever become affordable in 2010? For that to occur – the elites of this country will have to come off the gravy train – for profit health care will have to be replaced, the industry made to adhere to strict standards and guidelines.

No more Tylenol tablets – 2 for 199.99 – Blue Light operation room special. Doctors and nurses will have to get their hands shitty and bloody out of a deep desire to help one’s fellow man, not for 345 bucks an hour.

I can’t help but contemplate the impact of Brain Dawkins – I wish I knew if the noble one will be able to pull-off with the Denver Jackasses defense – what Chancy B did – make rocks out of Nuggets . . .


Will Tom Brady immediately step-back, into his shimmy-shimmy-coco- pop grove? Or will he miss his partner in gridiron crime – Josh McDaniels? Their ability to cheat together, as a team, a cohesive unit, might be disrupted somewhat . . . . It may take time for the “O” to gel.

Who will this nation be at war with come Thanksgiving? Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, China, Russia? All in the name of expanding or entrenching the American Empire.?

Can Obama end the exchange of our sons and little girl’s blood . . . for Black Gold? Will this government be at war with Mexico, since the rednecks are already at war with the Mexicans . . . ?

Will sports writers be able to accept that Pat White will take Chad Pennington’s place by the 2010 season . . . .? How productive can a hot, unhappy Julius Peppers be, considering he’s being forced to bleed blue n’ black?

Can the press and sports fans accept JaMarcus Russell has a brain and work ethic . . . ? Will this be the season Kellen Winslow II-much . . . demonstrates he has a serious work ethic, but no brain? He’s yet another royal blue-blooded headless horseman . . . .

Will this 09’campaign be Jason Cambell’s last as an insensitive White man’s Black Redskin?

How long can God and the G-men Keep the Obamas’ safe and secure? #44 is derailing the Reagan Revolution, and doing it with style, grace, with simplicity – but with an understated flare . . .

Obama’s redefining the Presidential position, elevating it to a level a guy like Romney, Palin or fill-in-the-blank can’t play at. Sorry, but Palin can’t pull off a Cairo Speech, she’s not willing nor capable, and she’s “the Rights” best chance.

But honestly, the base, the core of the GOP could give a pluck what the world thinks about their words or deeds. One of their battle-cries; “Up the UN’s ass . . . ! ”

Will this season be the season Donny McNabb and David Garrard realize QB’s are expendable and Black Signal Callers are . .

.disposable ?

I wonder if by the playoffs, say late December, will the next Redneck, hiding in plain-sight behind a badge, decide to execute a young man-of-color, for “driving while Black”, or being in the wrong neighborhood while Brown . . . ?

Will another incident go down where one of Darryl Gate’s or Bull Connor’s finest dish-out street justice by playing judge, jury and executioner?

Just doin’ the will of the people.

I can’t help but wonder when such a tragic event will trigger a Black Backlash, that day young men- of-color will decide enough . . .

is enough. They figure out – they got Johnny Law out-manned and out-gunned?

Because, on the very same day . . . . we people of color will realize how this nation’s pissed-off and paranoid conservative establishment has been gleefully preparing for such a moment.

We will quickly find out the value of our freedoms, our liberty and our asses. Think Naw Leans and Katrina.

Gone insane White guys will begin a coast-to-coast genocide event, as in massacre, Rosewood . . . . That horrific day when this nation’s cold civil war heats up, big time. It’ll be 1922 – “Open Season” on Niggers and Spics.

No question, I’d like to be able to see that far down the bumpy road . . . so I can get off this ” Hell Express.” Get my loved ones out before it’s too late.

The one thing I can predict . . . I can see as clear as sunshine in Phoenix . . . Terrell Owens will reap mayhem in Buffalo. He will “F” it all up. If the Bill’s don’t go 5-3, and the El Dorado Kid is not top 3 in all meaningful Receiver stats . . . get your popcorn, get your camera ready, pull up a Chase lounge-chair and watch the minstrel show.

It’ll be like Amos and Andy . . . but on Ecstasy and Indo.

Showtime to the 51st power.