Straight No Chaser: Say It Isn’t Sosa

By Desi Cortez, BASN Columnist
Updated: June 19, 2009

DENVER (BASN) – So Sammy Sosa spread Superman grease on his ass . . . Nooooo! Say it ain’t so! It can’t be! Who’da’ thunk that . . . ?

Ah, let’s try . . . say the whole world. . .? Monks in Nepal, Pigmys’ in . . . Pigmy land . . . ? Everybody knew this brother was inflated like the Michelin Man. Now, in some so-called honorable quest for the truth, to uphold the integrity of the game, political pimps are going to drag Sammy back up in-front of a panel of Grand Poo-Pahs, and make him sing like a 257 pound Venezuelan Cockatoo . . . .

In the name of “justice?” Justice….

They do really mean for just us – everybody else get’s a few free walks.

Integrity, in baseball, you’re kidding right. . . ? Is that like integrity in Washington DC? Or integrity in those brokerage houses which line Wall St? Integrity within the L.A. or New York police departments . . . ?

At the same time, these public servants in DC decline to put on the hot seat Ol’ Blood and Guts Dick Cheney or Little Lord Flat-Bush, both of whom most the nation, hell, most of the world believes are guilty of “war crimes.” Crimes against humankind.

I don’t know, you tell me; what has more weight, more gravity – interjecting Red Bull into your left testicle or, and this ore is big enough to paddle Noah’s Ark – being directly and deliberately responsible for killing millions of innocent Iraqis’ and thousands of young US soldiers?

Make believing you’re Thor, dipped in chocolate . . . viruses millions of dead people and their devastated loved ones . . .?

Little Dick Cheney outted a CIA agent -Valeria Plane, in his diabolical effort to tie Iraq’s Saddam to 9/11. Then Dick created, from scratch, the Iraq police action/war.

We know Dick meet behind closed White House doors with the major players in the energy cartel to set the scene for the repeated bending-over of the American public at the gas station . . .

Excuse me, we’ll all be needing some axel grease, just so we don’t bleed too much.

The infractions, the crimes simply do not compare. Nonetheless our elected officials don’t have the guts to go after real ruthless white collar criminals, so they focus on “rule breakers” within our national pastimes. The villains in the male soap operas’ men follow religiously .

Hell it is our religion.

But lets stay focused, our at least – I better stay focused. The charges of, the punishment for cheating within sports – don’t measure up to the political attention, nor in-comparison-to what Washington should be eye-balling.

Can Sosa, dragged back in front of congress be about seeking justice – because he lied to congress? If that’s the case, and we’re dragging folks to the gallows for lying to congress . . . Shouldn’t Sammy have to go to the back of the mo-fo line? Because there is a line.

Or, is it’s prime motivation to feed some vengeful nerdy politician driven intrinsic desire at work to humiliate athletes?

Or is it simply a political diversion, a staged play, a “skit” where political pimps try to steer the cameras . . . and the debate onto something besides their behind-the-scenes sodomizing.

Yeah, a cruel and merciless butt-flubbing, that’s what they’re doing to the American people, and it’s what they’re doing on the behalf-of the American people to the world.

No shit . . . those are your choices.

Sosa, Bonds and A-Train’s bodies, hang’in from a tree in the center of town, are bound to draw media flies. Take everybody’s eyes and minds off the real dishonorable actions of people in high places.

Can you say diversion.

It’s easier to go after these imbeciles, then it is to take on issues like health care cost, the rumblin’, tumblin’, stumblin’, bumblin’, fumblin’, economy, North Korea and the Middle East. It’s easier to extort one’s high morals and values, by public ally hanging these no-good, good for not a damn thing but hittin’a ball niggers.

And don’t forget the sidewinder-spitball; Congressmen have within their ranks – angry white male sportsfans. Guys who got cut from the team in middle school, because the black kids were just too fast, just too strong. So Bobby loses his shortstop position, and his strawberry blond little shortcake cheerleader at the end of the day.

I know, I know, I know – I’d better say that softly, because that fact, hurts angry white guys feelings. I’m painting it too, too personal, too real to talk about. It’s too painful for the everyday average white cat to admit to, so I, as a Black man, am suppose to understand this frailty, and just not mention the two-and-a-half tone elephant in the middle of the living room.

Insecurity, fear, paranoia, that’s what drives this madhouse called America.

There’s a zeal in the eyes of some of these congress folk when they drill jocks, and they smirk and grin when it’s a man-of-color. No, don’t call me paranoid, call me perceptive and observant giving it to you straight, with no chaser.

You know, for me, this is where my ass hit’s the pavement, the point where I know the fellahs who write me the “go screw yourself nigger” love letters, well, their eye’s are a’ rolling, and their lady friend wants to know ‘why are your taking on air” – like a giant Sperm whale?

This is the point where I interject the belief that race plays a role in who’s the freedom fighter, and who’s the terrorist. Who’s the “Home Team” and who’s the ‘Visitor.”

The Black team, we’ve been visitors for some 400 seasons. And the Red and Brown teams, it’s their field, and they’re still visitors . . . .

I’m sorry, but political pimps going after athletes in this type of predicament – a question of ethics, is for some a opportunity for payback. Re-writing the record books by righting some wrongs, re-inventing old heroes . . . and when the dude happens to be an arrogant Black dude, a brother, blood even . . . then it’s a pleasure.

Putting Bonds in bondage, shooting Sosa at sunset, and derailing the A-Train, he’ll never pull into the hall-of-fame station – that’s not work for some congress-people in Washington, it’s a amusement, it’s fun. It’s the big, big payback.

Once more, just to hear the steam come outta Ricky Bobby’s ass… JB Please . . .

They took my money, got my honey . . . ..

Don’t get me twisted inside out, these ballers are guilty of felony stupidity, and were more than willing to cheat because the other guy did . . . .

But on the relativity meter, with Rome ablaze in the background it’s blinking amazing these civil servants would have the nerve to focus their time, attention and our limited resources on . . . . Baseball.