Straight No Chaser: Dr Doolittle & Negro Whisperers

By Desi Cortez
Updated: April 27, 2009

DENVER — George W. Bush peered into Russia ‘s Emperor Vladimir Putin’s eyes . . . . and, according to the formerly addicted to firewater (and cocaine) male cheerleader, ” I was able to get a sense of his soul . . .”

Whatever “feel” this fool got, was inaccurate, and the world concurs. Putin is still a rogue KGB officer turned self-anointed dictator at best, and, worst then Daniel Ortega and Hugo Chavez, hell, that pair answers to Putin.

I can’t help but ponder; is this what Rodger Goodell is going to do also, peer deeply into Vick’s soul and conclude if he’s now, after being broken and branded, find one of the “good ones” deep, deep down in Vick’s soul. Are we to accept Goodell has that rare unique ability to . . . talk to the Animals.

I call it the original, ol’ school Dr. Doolittlegift. The extraordinary capacity for, yes, Caucasians to speak to and even with . . . Black people. Believe it, it can be done!

This expertise is even more unique then W’s. ability to see into a Russian’s heart. This rare knack to communicate with Black people – is one – only a elf’s handful ever acquire.

I actually think there’s a debate raging concerning whether or not a White person is actually born with this valuable tool, or, one must acquire and accumulate the skill.

Just as those who see dead people, and can talk to them – are born supposedly with a veil on. These gifted ” Negro Whisperers ” come into this world with a bandanna on, or corn rows, and in certain rare situations, with a giant Angela Davis Afro . . . . it’s a dead give away a White infant has come into this world “touched”.

Occasionally, at a young age they demonstrate a uncontrollable thirst for Kool Aide and Fried Chicken.

The Denver Broncos just hired a guy who’s been blessed with this rare ” Captain Nemo of the Negroes” ability to communicate with . . . Black men – Josh McDaniels. There’re no better Afro-American coaches available in America then this kid, according to Pat Bowlen. Mike Shanahan has it, Gooden has it.

Parcells was blessed with it. Jack Del Rio and John Fox, yes, both grew up with Black house keepers. Al Davis mistakenly thought Lane Kiffen had it – because his father has it. The elder Kiffen was raised in Harlem . . . .

Maybe Goodell has that same power as Dr. Spock, what is it, a “Mind-Meld” or something ?

Honestly, I am taken a-back, way-the-hell back, because I can’t even begin to phantom how Goodell is going to verify “true remorse” and contriteness on Mike Vick’s behalf.

Better yet, if he can, perhaps he ought to be on the Supreme Court determining murder cases . . . . And is it that easy for a man to look into a man’s eyes, ask a few questions and determine his shame?

The hope, Goodell pull’s a little Tim Dunbar out of Vick.

Sorry, but this bullshit – plain n’ simple, deeply, deeply rooted in American culture; people of color are children in our mental and emotional complexity. There’s a . . . let’s call it a “belief” amongst White folks that they can “read between the lines” and “decipher” us “lesser” humans.

Don’t take my word. Trust your own instincts and observations . . . I’m not lying, exaggerating nor enhancing this point – it merely is what it is.

I can’t begin to say how paternalistic and condescending this whole thought of inspecting, dissecting and breaking-down a Black man, by a White man, comes off . . . .

Let me stress how this whole “is the nigger really, truly sorry” seems to reduce Vick’s prison time, ruined career and vastly reduced riches as “irreverent side-bars” which don’t constitute adequate punishment, the great White Father has to establish, gain a confession Vick is truly sad that he breed, fought, killed, gambled and profited from dog fighting.

“Say uncle.” “Say I hate myself.” “Say I hate people like me.” “Say I try harder to be like you . . . boss.?

When and who is going to look into Michael Browns eyes, the buffone who once lead FEMA, who was either incompetent or genocidal in permitting hundreds to die in Katrina and it’s man-made aftermath?

This mass-killer has been rewarded with a broadcasting career with Clear Channel, and his corporate sponsors don’t give a damn he’s a mass murderer . . . .

Where’s People for the Ethical Treatment of Black People?

The Rocky Mountain front range population apparently doesn’t give a damn a mass murderer is not merely “on the radio”, but apart of “the voice of the Denver Broncos” radio station 850 KOA. Nevertheless, let Vick be signed by the Broncos.

Fanatics would go mad a dog killer is on the team. But no worries, Bowlen rather have his product on the air with Mike Brown, a human killer, then Vick, a dog killer.

For the life of me, I don’t see the vast seas between killing dogs as opposed to shooting Bambi or Yogi? The end is the same for Flipper, he’s bunking in a tin can with Charley Tuna . . ..

StarKist, an international business institution, killing innocent fish is what they do, PETA, i.e. organized animal lovers, can’t mess with them. Nor can they take on the hunting gear/gunmaking industry – and win.

No, that’s their father, husband, uncle or brother – these idiots will never win, they are viewed as rodent loving fools and that’s just that, but with Vick . . . .

No. 7 was already much hated, no, hate doesn’t adequately illustrate what the angry white sports writers and fans had for Vick.

Let’s go with . . . abhorrence, maybe revulsion, as in damn near throwing up , vomiting at the mention of his name . . . he was too, too, too Black, But, with Vick as the target, it was easy for White America to pile on . . . .Tea bag him.

Oddly, Vick never came across as a TO like debutante – he didn’t kiss the mirror, but he did make luv to Mary Jane, and while having sex – he passed herpes. And for that . . . he’s an habitual criminal.

It amazes me Vick is regarded as a animal in contrasted with how these vultures on Wall Street – where all is forgiven for the frat boys in the expensive veins and turtle-skin loafers, who loafed their way thru all the right schools, got all the right sheepskins, live and vacation in all the right places . . . and screwed people out of their life savings, their dreams.

Well, I guess that’s not really odd if we face facts; the Mike Vick saga has split along racial lines. Most Afro-Americans, Latinos and Asians don’t believe Vick ought be shot at sunrise or hung at sunset, its White America, incensed White guys who want to execute Mike. And it’s not that people of color are not repulsed by what Mike engaged in, but he didn’t take a single human life.

At this moment, there are a handful of NFL players responsible for the deaths of other, and this is key – “humans” and they’re still allowed to practice their craft. Why shouldn’t Vick?

Goodell is going this far to quell all concerns this uppity high paid gangster Quarterback has been put back in his place, and I think he understands he’s pandering to a feeling in America , that you can never be too tough on a Black man.

Throw the book at the nigger . . . !