Straight No Chaser: Deep In The Heart Of…..

By Desi Cortez
Updated: April 18, 2009

DENVER — In the back of my mind, at the cocktail table over in the dark corner, I’ve been entertaining this thought, go with me on this sports will be a central element, I swear.

This nation is one major incident away from chaos, pandemonium, the moment when the world will sit back and watch, get their Cracker Jacks and Dots – because it’s going to be on like popcorn all across these divided states.

This situation is at hand despite America’s claim to be a melting pot, yes perhaps that has meant a combustible cup of Voo-Doo Chili, but nonetheless a stew, a collection of scraps which somehow, together formed a great dish.

But recently, someone turned up the flame under America’s ass, added a little Crisco, we’re starting to pop like a LA disco, the US might as well be a 12-inch deep frying pan.

It seems when Obama walked into the room, the Oval Office to be exact, some people got a little hot and uncomfortable. We need to reduce that heat, if at all possible. If not, I think this divided house will be burnt, to the ground by the warring factions inside.

Now, instead of turning the flames down, angry White guys are pouring petrol on the fire; dig the King of Texas, Rick Perry, who loudly and proudly announced at a Tea Party rally – Texas is examining seceding from the union. .

Because Lord Obama is a pinko/commie/socialist/fascist /Black Muslim militant, married to Angela Davis and Malcolm X’s love child . . . the First Lady. How would Texas cleanse itself of people who differed with the Tea Party?

Does this mean Texas will be an all-white state, a Redneck homeland of sorts . . . ? Can we call it “Whiteland?” And if that’s the case, will their pro sports teams be all white?

This leaving the union stuff, would relegate Texas colleges to “small school” status. Do these cats really want to set themselves up for defeat like that?

The best high school players would leave for college . . . and be blown away by the competition outside the state. Texas, being all White, could not field a competitive college team in a vast array of sports. Extreme sports, say extreme kite-flying, they could dominate, but football, basketball – I just can’t see how. Not even baseball ..

Will they have team names and mascots like the Neanderthals, the Barbarians, the Savages, the Pirates, the Man-Eaters, the Oppressors, the Invaders, the Uncivilized, or the Marauders . . . ? They all seem apropos. Will they win all they’re games because of Manifest Destiny? Sorry.

Here, I know this will elicit the “go to hell dumb-ass racist nigger” e-mails, but BYU would struggle to compete in, forget dominating in any major conference if they had to line up, strap it on against diverse top-tier competition . . . every week. And BYU recruits nationally, hell, internationally.

Sorry, it’s merely my measurement, based on years of observation and participation. If Whiteland State University fielded an even Whiter team then BYU . . . .

And it would be whiter, because fewer Blacks and Samoans would by into Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal , then those who believe they are the lesser, marked descendants of Cain or Hamm . . . . I don’t know what that say’s, but it ain’t good for anyone in that little scenario.

Really, you wouldn’t believe the thin, cracker-like skin some White folks have . . .

I mean honestly, what would happen to players/citizens in Texas who didn’t belong to the Tea Party? Jerry Jones would have to jettison all his Black players . . . .

Both college kids and pro-players, whose politics and most likely skin-tone don’t fit too well with the new Texas majority – would want out. There’s a good chance the fanaticals wouldn’t want you there, and then again, who’d want to live behind enemy lines.

The sports world offers just a glimpse of what turmoil, what hell would be unleashed if a state broke from the union, over issues of class and color, not so oddly the identical reasons this union split a century and-a-half ago.

What would happen to the millions of Afro and Mexican Americans whose politics are the complete opposite of King Perry and his Rebel force? What about the millions of White folks who think these folks are extremist at best, cooks most likely – the traitors?

Clearly when Perry was elected, no one guessed he’d have the Lone Star state standing with Jefferson Davis, Rush, Hannity, Beck, the Texas Ranger and Dick Cheney at some Tea Party over the President’s stimulus package .

I say . . . let them go, release some of the pressure, let this White folks have what they want . . . . Whiteland, like Cleveland, just no Blacks, or Latinos, or dark Asians, or South Pacificurs who don’t like being absorbed into the empire.

No union guys or gals, No Happy people, no uppity arrogant self -sufficient ladies – none of Hillary’s bitches can live in Whiteland. No aging hippies or Flower Children, no artist or poets.

Whiteland – where all the discontented malcontents who, as a bottom line, don’t want a Black guy manning the helm, be it of their country, or their team, the swing shift at their factory . . . or god forbid, their sister’s house.

For these guys, Michael Steel or Colin Powell won’t do, White folks have made it clear, to be Black and Republican . . . one must despise his own, hate his mother, disown his father, turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to your siblings, treat them as ho’s in training, aspiring hustlers and pimps.

Think like the unjust Justice, Clarence Thomas.

These Tea Parties were strategically segregated, reflecting, because of the message – angry caucasian guys, and their women folk, a few house Negroes and a handful of brown and yellow lawn-boys, i.e. delusional sellouts who understand and except the low-expectations held by their friends, they understand and embrace their inferior position.

The historical fact which dismisses tea baggers as what they are – kids who can’t play very well with other kids on the playground of life; if they’re truly pissed about actual access to the American Dream, then there should have been a revolt, a taxpayer/worker revolt, one which should have rippled across the land years ago, when Reagan began Trickle Down Economics, White folks should have gotten mad, but they didn’t.

Why not when Ronald Ray-Gun began the exportation of the American Dream to China, deregulation of the markets, rich White guys getting richer, working class White guys getting poorer . . . ?

Or, why not when W. started exchanging US soldiers blood for Texas Tea, black gold, that’s when these real patriots should have been offended?

This outburst is just that, a temper tantrum being put on by spoiled brats use to the game being rigged. Speaking of rigged, if Texas, or South Carolina leaves the union, they’ll never win a Bowl Game again.