The Sports MCs Present — Classic Crock

By The Sports MC's
Updated: February 14, 2009

Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco

PHILADELPHIA — Good afternoon, brothers and sisters – this is Doc Pinkard, host of “Chat – SMC” here on BASN Radio. My guest today is my colleague and fellow member of the Sports MCs, DJ Hunnycomb.

Today’s show is brought to you by the letter “S” – as in steroids; and as in sanctimonious.

Brother, it has a week of bullshit and blowhards as baseball’s scarlet letter has become an adornment to arguably its best player.

The exposure, admission and reaction to Alex Rodriguez’s 2003 positive test for steroids became the hand that rocks the cradle of controversy for all of Major League Baseball.

So, Hunnycomb, if we have to play the W5 game – that is, who, what, when, where, why (and sometimes how), what is your assessment of this madness?

HC: Well, it comes down to who the fuck dropped dime on A-Rod? Second, what the fuck was the motive? After all, Rodriguez was Selig’s Golden Boy – he was going to make everyone forget about that arrogant nigger Barry Bonds and break all the homerun records so the game could be made pure again;

Then we have to figure when this information had to be made available; at this point I’m thinking this was not welcome timing when you consider the government had been working on putting Bonds’ black ass in jail; or perhaps Selig knew about Rodriguez being dirty all along.

There had to be some inside knowledge of all the situations because if Bonds didn’t have some inkling of what could be coming down the pike, he would’ve never been in a position to even get to 700, much less pass Babe Ruth; because Selig would’ve stopped his Black ass from stepping up to bat faster than seconds on sake in a Japanese restaurant…

Blindfold me and hang me high; lethal injection, watch me fry I won’t flinch and I won’t break a sweat When I taste the cyanide gas, gas, gas

Only way you’re gonna shut me up Only way you’re gonna shut me up

That’s like playing with no mask Wish your mouth weren’t cotton dry Gas Chamber

Of course they’re totally ignoring the jailbait – fiend and multiple Cy Young winner Roger Clemens, who seems to be ridin’ dirtier every day as the onus remains on Bonds.

You’d better believe if Bonds had been intimate with a 15 – year old girl, his Black ass would be twirling on a spit like a barbequed steer; and it wouldn’t matter when he did her, either!

Watch me riddle him through the glass; smiling as I sip the last gas Justifiable homicide Almond blossom-scented cyanide Gas chamber

Only way you think you’ll keep me down Only way you think you’ll keep me down Gas chamber

So now we’re at where is all this bullshit leading to? Does it lead to the unveiling of the other 100 or so players who agreed to be tested under promise of confidentiality?

Or perhaps the further agenda of Bitch Selig now shifts toward making Rodriguez a pariah, now that his potential usefulness is gone? And where will Rodriguez go regarding hiring legal counsel after all this has hit the fan? I know some muthafucka’s gonna get their ass sued behind this;

And ultimately, why Rodriguez and why now? Again, the timing ain’t the best – with “pitchers and catchers” less than two weeks away, this is not what was supposed to be on the back pages of the sports sections across America;

You could also say why did everyone choose to ignore Jose Canseco? Who, by the way should receive a Pulitzer Prize for excellence in sports journalism, especially since he has been consistent.

So for everyone out who thinks “S” is for “snitch” here, you are wrong – Canseco wrote this years in advance – and baseball buried him as being a low – life and a broken man.

Finally, why the fuck is Congress sticking their nose up in this? Unless there are firm intentions to call MLB on the carpet and take all their anti-trust goodies away, shut the fuck up and save the microphone for Vin Scully!

Only way you think you’ll keep me down –only way you think you’ll keep me down Gas chamber, gas chamber

Your God says thou shalt not kill; but here you are droppin’ the pill Legal system – what a sham Flying colors on the final exam Gas chamber

Only way you’re gonna shut me up Only way you’re gonna shut me up Gas Chamber

Only way you’re gonna shut me up Only way you’re gonna shut me up Gas chamber, gas chamber…AAAHHHHHH!

Doc: We’ll be back with more of “Talk-SMC” after these messages:

NOTE: Lyrics to “Gas Chamber” – written by John Waters and performed by the band L7.