Straight No Chaser: A Call With A Purpose

By Desi Cortez
Updated: February 9, 2009

“I told him to always introduce himself, look a man in the eye, give him a firm handshake and say, ‘I’m Adrian Peterson.” “Respect others. That will take you a long way in life.”

— Nelson Peterson, father of Pro Bowler Adrian.

DENVER — Words of wisdom from the elder Peterson, pops of the Purple People Eater. If we, as Black men, don’t provide our sons with these type tools – required to navigate, manipulate and hopefully one day dictate their course through life, then we, as a people . . . will be adrift for eternity.

History will dismiss us as irrelevant .

Nevertheless, I’ve this burning yearning to articulate, at least try to convey through this column – the value of having a dad in a young man’s life. Nelson Peterson’s fatherly advice are words, a few basic thoughts that men of any color should live by, and yet, it’s a philosophy not shared nearly enough between Black fathers and their sons.

And it shows.

A little petrol. is poured on my hot-spot every time that devilish Crueller Deville in drag, that she-male man-bitch act of Terrell Owens’ bats his eyes and bobs his head on the tube.

It’s getting on my last nerve.

Every other time TOZO the Clown t open’s his mouth, I understand the dire need for dad to be in the life of his cubs. I plainly see what happens when men are raised in man-less environments.

Last one. That’s it. I’ve no more nerves left . . . .

The consequences and repercussions are predictable when a young man-cub spends his shapable years riding around in the back of a car, or sitting at home, with the heat on, and the blankets draped over him, like momma, having his ear bent by only women.

Mother, grandma. Big Momma, Aunt Earlene, other female friends and relations moan, groan and complain about men and life . . . this is not good, obviously he picks up the mannerisms and actual perspectives of women. Over 10 years or so, that little boy – starts to see the world thru those dynamics, and he begins to sound like them.

Seeds, deeply implanted.

I want to use words like immersion, mind-swap, brainwash, clipped, spaded, had a dress put on, indoctrinated . . . by the enemy, unbeknownst to the male victim, transformed, given the heart and mind of a transsexual guy, women . . . whatever.

Owens is a tri-polar poster-princess for why Black families . . . need to be just that, a family, parents (that’s two, 2- people) mother, father and child. Moving in the same direction. Even if divorced or never married – dad should play the pivotal role, if he has pledged his life to his child’s betterment.

I understand Steeler head coach Mike Tomlin has a liking for quotes, and one of his favorites is from Glory, Morgan Freeman’s Sargent Rawlins – Gonna come a time when we all gonna hafta ante up. Ante up and kick in like men. LIKE MEN – Tomlin want’s his men to apply that feel and flavor to their lives . . .beyond football. Tomlin is a big advocate of Fathers behaving like men.

Larry Fitzgerald Sr instilled in Junior this thought; say little when you lose, even less when you win, and pass the praise around.

That sounds like prehistoric Chinese to the big ass ears of Terrell El Dorado Owens. . . .

Why? He’s another rudderless man. One of a few . . . million with – no pops in the cave to preach and teach the same standards. Not just a cat with a penis, but rather a dad.

I’m not saying this to mock or belittle the tragedy of being fatherless, but rather TO exemplifies the void, his era of Black player/man reflects the centuries of our collective castration – our manhood taken and redefined by . . . people who question your intelligence, compassion . . . humanity. Lately, we’ve been doing some of the cutting ourselves

Today’s player still wants to Tap dance in top-hats n’ tails, canes, little white gloves, shake there asses, all the Minstrel Show buffoonery. They see themselves as mandingos, not men with degrees. They want to be The Doctor, not a doctor, be called a skyscraper, not design and build one . . .

We, as Black men are struggling, tooth n’ nail to take it back who and what we are, testicle, by testicle, heart, soul and mind, one at a time.

What’s a man?

It starts with taking care of you and yours, being a positive, stabilizing force in your child’s life, not the source of pain, grief and frustration.

Note, I didn’t say a damn thing about nobody’s baby’s daddy. I’m referring to dads, there’s a difference here that needs to be highlighted on instant-replay – over and over again.

Babies daddies and actual fathers, dads – theses are worlds apart. Think Mercury and . . . Pluto. Take a long gander at Larry Fitzgerald Sr. You can see in juniors’ game and off-field decorum – there was a good, decent man in his life.

I want you to walk away from my stone tablet, understanding there’s a devastating price to be paid for babies, having babies, having babies, and as Afro-Americans, we need to halt the idiocy of trying to minimize, if not legitimize illegitimate behavior.

There are no illegitimate children, just illegitimate parents . . . . I stole that from somebody.

However, I want America to understand, the strategic destruction of the Black family was a goal this nation openly pursued and blatantly sought to accomplish. Too many of the methods practiced to achieve that destruction – have been ingrained in the minds of Black folk.

Too many of us don’t love ourselves, let-alone each other. We don’t believe we’re, as a people, capable nor able of accomplishment. After 400 years – we know and accept the second class position White folk have set aside for us.

Yes, a large percentage of us have submitted to the brainwashing, creating a never-ending struggle trying to save the victims and slap the fools.

I think we can safely say there’s a concrete, calculated effort being leveled by Black men to amplify the traditional Black American values – which got us thru the hell called US History 101.

The choices and standards, the family man lifestyles of President Obama and Coach Tomlin, Coach Tony Dungy, Herm Edwards, Lovie Smith, Marvin Lewis . . . do exist. Good, decent Black men do exist.

Not pimps, not players, not aging hustlers. And the tragic thing here, both Black and White folks refuse to accept these men exist, they disbelieve in the Cosby make and model of Black folks.

Here, let me make a 2 point conversion; Bill Cosby’s right, his sharp and blunt criticisms are on the money. Black folks don’t like, and sadly, we’re no longer use to – a man’s straight . . . With no chaser opinion.

We need momma, or men made by momma to tell us in a way that won’t hurt our soft Michael Jackson like feelings. Tarnish our frail self-esteem. We’ve been loved and coddled to death by our mothers and grandmothers – who were themselves beaten-down, beaten-up, abandoned and betrayed women who did the best they could . . . against all odds.

Hell, we need a grandfather like Mr. Cosby, to look us in the eye and say . . . “This ain’t right son, you need to straighten up and fly right. Get your s-h-i-t together. Do better, be better.

Exactly as Mike Singletary put a verbal foot in the ass of Vernon Davis, and later applied a big-ass physical bear hug . . . Black men are in critical need of that exact type of tough-ass love.

And please note, there’s a solid slice of White folks, even some who call themselves “liberal” who ‘re indifferent, if not outright opposed to our solidification as a people.

They like us deaf, dumb, blind, underemployed, unemployable and self destructive. It makes’ them feel bigger, better, and all-so correct in their racism . . . and sometimes richer – if they’ve invested their money in prisons, as say opposed to schools.

Nor can we pretend there not some Black folks – who’re comfortable with the gutter-low expectations. it makes it easier to . . . survive, nobody ever expects you to thrive.

It’s a hell of a lot easier for pimps – preachers, politicians and biz-ness men to exploit and manipulate their own people if the people have never left the reservation mentally or physically.

We need to stop making it easier for White America to sock-it-to us, because they’re way more people in this country who do not like Black folks . . . regardless of the election of The Man. It starts with Black men . . . .

It’s time to ante up and kick in like men. LIKE MEN

Young Black boys must grasp the simple thought; being Black does not entail making babies, and mo’ babies, and mo’ babies. Human production does not make you a man, nor are babies meant to keep your women warm when you’re out and about. Attending Attica State or Folsom Institute – is not a rites-of-passage.

Malt Liquor and mac 10’s aren’t inherent to the Black experience

Don’t believe the hype . . . fight the power.

I grew up watching The Mack, Cool Breeze, the Legend of Nigger Charley, Blacular, The Ware-Wolf from Watts, Cooley High, Three The Hard Way, Cleopatra Jones, Blac-exploitation of the 70’s is like a Disney movie, like Song of the South compared to the damage Gangsta, pimps up ho’s down rap era has done to the perceptions Blacks have of themselves. It ain’t even comparable.

Way, way, way too many of us have allowed the so-very low expectations of mainstream America to become our trademark. Don’t tell me otherwise when I see kids coming to school in prison gear and sixth grade girls talking bou’t what they saw on I Luv New York, while takin’ turns pole-dancing around a tether ball pole at recess, proudly displaying ankle monitoring bracelets.

Bottom line; Black Power and Black fatherhood are directly related, we need one, to get the other.