Straight No Chaser: Joey, The Town Crier

By Desi Cortez
Updated: November 11, 2008

DENVER — Look Mommy, The barbarian has a brain.

Joey Porter – now deployed to South Beach to raise holy-hell with the Dolphins, ask a simple-ass question; “But I’m still trying to figure out how a guy (Matt Jones) gets caught with cocaine in his car and still plays the game and nothing happens.”

“He got caught with cocaine and Matt Jones is still playing football. How does he get away with that?

And then you fine people $20,000 for making comments to the media about the refs. The guy got caught with cocaine.”

Well Mr. Porter, it’s quite elementary; Despite there being a Black man in the White House…. this is America. There are certain inalienable rights which come with being born blond-haired and blue-eyed, including the benefit of the doubt..

Matt Jones is a Great White Hope, a dude playing a dude, who’s pretending to be a dude in the NFL. with jets. OK, wheels. And what ought to be noted here; we’re talking about Receiver, Spit-End my friend. No, he’s not a QB, Center, Tight End or Kicker; he’s a Wide Receiver, thus designating him a endangered species.

Toss into the Voo-Doo chili — we are talking about Jacksonville Florida — Once again. Black President or not, that’s well below the Mason Dixon/McCain Palin line.

Mr. Jones is regarded differently by the press, coaches, front office and mainstream fans then Porter is. Jones will get a second chance, maybe a third or fourth chance.

Why? Because he has a different type of value, he posses the rare potential to shine at a position we all know White cats can’t compete at any longer, because of their athletic limitations.

Owners, team marketing directors, NASCAR fathers, they all want this type of player to be successful, marketable, promotable and profitable.

No, Jones doesn’t have the skills “Pac Man” or Chris Henry have, but, he is a White guy who can pick them up, and put them down. That combo of skin color and speed makes him special.

Me, and Mr. Jones both know he’s struggling to establish himself as the rare Surfer token in a Black man’s game.Therefore, a informal but official Good Ol’Boy network of judges, cops, and lawyers who are sportsfans didn’t want to derail his unfulfilled quest for their group respectability and representation at a position White guys are locked out of.

Please, please, please, don’t delude yourself, there’s a hunger across America, imbedded and entrenched to see all-white football teams and all Black prisons.

A white kid, rushing for a league leading 1,764 yards in the NFL, that’s a Rush Limbaugh oxy-cotton (hand picked by black people in Aunt Jermimah and Uncle Remus plantation attire…) Wet dream.

It’s something the average Fred and Barney don’t even ponder. Next to that one, a white guy leading the league in receiving, ala TO. I don’t even think white guys consider that….feasible, doable, workable ….it’s a football fantasy.

Least anyone dismiss this fact, about 45% of this nation still supports the tenants of the Reagan Revolution, which said we don’t like Black people. These same folks supported McCain/Palin’s version which attracted a type of American who believe, not think, believe – Black people aren’t Americans, we’re terrorist, and a man like Obama should be killed.

Translation; millions of White US citizens are anti-integration, assimilation or even accommodation. They too don’t like Black people. This is a solid percentage of the WASP population who almost openly want to return this nation to apartheid – including our national pastimes.

President elect Obama symbolizes – to them, the Real Americans, more than merely the American Dream; he represents a nightmare, come to life; some highly educated mulatto, the product of an African Buck who impregnated a 17-year old sunflower from Kansas.

Yeah, it’s this dramatic,

They take it all the way to Hollywood. These self-anointed patriots fear President elect Obama will lead the Black masses in some form of payback…. transform, the feel, flavor, taste, sound, walk, talk, image, the very culture of America…

Obama’s election and Matt Jones’s skirting of justice are just a couple examples of conflicts within this cultural battle. This new President – the direct result of the US’s conflict between cultures; the establishment, the Land lords, lined up against the coalition which put the Senator in the Oval Office: Blacks, Latinos, liberal and progressive Whites, Jews, Asians, and Native-Americans. Blue and pink collar worker ants, people who work from can’t see….to can’t see – and some, they don’t even have a collar.

That’s where Mr. Jones’s roles comes into this – The former Arkansas QB represents another determined effort to regain lost ground, to re-establish the White guy as a viable sports hero, so his incarceration would have derailed that valiant effort.

Mr. Jones’s snorting of cocaine, no it won’t be forgiven and ignored like outgoing President Bush’s snorting-up of Peru and Bolivia was, which this nation decided we didn’t need to know if the leader-of-the-free-world is a coke-head.

But he will be treated differently because coke ain’t crack, its common knowledge this nations drug laws are twisted to imprison as many people of color as possible.

Matt Jones is being treated not with white gloves, but as a white kid….Uhm…same thing.

Accountability, liability, responsibility, all those terms both the NFL and the GOP toss around like they’re Kurt Warner, those characteristics don’t apply when it’s a human commodity known as a Great White Hope.

Jones will virtually go unpunished…. sports fans, including young impressionable kids don’t need to see a visible role model like Jones, who was walking around with a 8-ball, in his pocket – be reprimanded for his indiscretion . It’s not necessary.

I need Johnny “Guitar” Watson to start playing, ” Ain’t that a bitch“……

But, this country would like to see Mick Vick banned from the NFL, burned at the stake, actually hung, the preferred punishment for upitty Black men¼.and all for dog fighting.

A man with no police record…There’re those Palin punks who want Vick to now serve state time upon his completion of his federal sentence. End his career, end the threat, over dog fighting…!

Different rules for different folks.

What this is – a conflicting application of high standards. Depends on who it is…. Don’t take my word, dig what Porter pointed out: he raised the subject of his fight with Bengal Levi Jones at a Sin City casino in 2007.

Porter pleaded no contest, paid a grand in fines in the court case, while Master Goodell fined the red capped Porter, Bell men, boy…. three game checks — $141,176.

Said Porter – ” I didn’t even get a ticket,” he said. “I didn’t go to jail, didn’t get arrested. So what you’re saying is – it’s OK to do drugs, but fighting’s not. So that’s what we’re teaching our kids — fighting, that’s a no-no. Drugs, we’ll find a different way to deal with it.”

It was never confirmed, but the rumors surrounding some of the greatest QB’s to ever stand in a pocket or scramble out of one during the 1980’s and 90’s were linked to cocaine usage, but a cheerleading caucasian press, composed vastly of ass kissing wanna be’s… never wanted to execute one-of-their-own, heros, Vanilla Alpha Males…..

So today, those big cats are in the Hall of Fame, no questions were ever asked, no time ever done, no careers ever ruined. This deaf-ear, blind-eye, secret treehouse club bull-chipis being practiced more-so today, because the demand for Great White Hopes has grown so….

Football and basketball, society itself, has become dominated by Afro-Americans the need to escort a guy like Jones is a must.