By Anthony McClean, Editor In Chief Emeritus NEW HAVEN (BASN) —...
NBA Names New Enforcer
NBA NAMES NEW ENFORCER THE GENERAL
Enough is TOO much
the NBA has decided to get TOUGH with its
REFS they’re calling in
a GENERAL to keep
all of them in Line
Meet retired U.S. Army GENERAL Ronald R. Johnson. He will not be fooling around Gentlemen. Commissioner Stern in naming General Johnson to the new post noted ” NBA refs are the best in the world ( whatever that means ) BUT ……. Yes BUTT it’s time to kick some and get these guys in shape physically and MENTALLY.
Yea this is about the DEMON Ref what was his name ….. but it is about MORE. The NBA needs more DISCIPLINE and the General will provide it. General Johnson’s formal title will be write this down please SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT OF REFEREE OPERATIONS. And if those 60 NBA Refs though this was OFF season time to party think again REFS.
You will report to BOOT camp. You will be prepared to work to SUFFER. By the time we finish with you well you will be ready for Iraq or even Afghanistan let alone really ready to step on the HARDwood next season. NO more over-weight Refs. NO more slow Refs. NO more joking around Refs. And as far as betting on games or worse of all “fixing” games .. it is now the MILITARY Code of Conduct Gentlemen.
NO excuses. Don’t tell us you were “ordered” to make some calls. Or that you just made a mistake. As far as betting we don’t want to hear you ONLY placed a bet on the Kentucky Derby or that you took a vacation in Atlantic City. NO excuses. Ever hear of COURT Marshals. Now as in Basketball COURT Marshals. And Justice will be SWIFT. No SWIFT boating for you. This is the real Deal. If you are convicted in the COURT of Basketball Justice you will pay the ultimate price. That is right summary EXECUTION right on the Court.
From now on it’s YES Sir NO Sir General Johnson. And as far as those Referee “uniforms” those pants will be pressed and creased at ALL times. Those shoes will shine so BRIGHT the players will have to wear contact sun glasses. And you will keep your hair SHORT Gentlemen.
So who is retired Army GENERAL Ronald R. Johnson SIR
in his own words here he is ……
” Although I don’t have a basketball background, other than as a lifelong fan, I am confident that my experience as an Army commander and engineer has equipped me to bring leadership and innovation to the NBA’s exceptional officiating program,.” DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. Have I made myself clear. Louder. LOUDER Gentlemen.
Here is what Commissioner Stern
is NOT telling you but we are
EXCLUSIVELY in the Box
The Ref story is a cover and just the first step. GENERAL Johnson was really hired to clean up the entire NBA that means the PLAYERS and recalcitrant owners too like that pot smoking crack head Mark Cuban. DISCIPLINE is coming to the NBA. Better get those tattoos laser removed this summer. FORGET the rap music in the locker room. LOSE the corncobs GENTLEMEN. And forget about the late night club hopping next season. This is the NEW NBA.
Welcome to GENERAL Johnson’s world
of clean living and discipline
And Shaq and Kobe the General really has his eyes trained right on you two. If it takes sending you to Parris Island for some Marine Basic TRAINING. NO problem Gentlemen. Here is a taste of what to expect O’Neill .. Bryant…..
” PARRIS ISLAND, S.C. — It’s 3 a.m. and Marine drill instructors interrupt your beauty sleep by slamming the door to your hut and yelling for you and your fellow recruits to get out of the rack, get your gear on and get outside — NOW! ”
” For the past 49 hours, you have had little sleep, little food, and you and your team have endured a physically, mentally and emotionally challenging test. You have been participating in the Crucible — the culminating event of Marine Corps basic training.”
” Now it’s almost over. By 8 a.m., your company will be on the Parade Deck of the Marine Corps Recruit Depot here, receiving the insignia with the symbol of the Marine Corps — the eagle, globe and anchor. There’s just one more hurdle to leap: a nine-mile road march.”
” At 3:45 a.m., the company assembles. Your feet and muscles hurt, but other recruits limp into place, too. No one quits. Everyone wants to finish. The end is close enough you can almost taste it. You shoulder your backpack and weapon and clap on your Kevlar helmet. Then you check your teammates’ equipment. One last slug from your canteen and you’re ready.”
” One of the drill instructors says that at least the weather is decent, and you have to agree. There hasn’t been a drop of rain during this Crucible, and the temperature has gone from the upper 40s to the mid-80s. Right now, the temperature is in the 60s. It’s humid, but nothing like when you got to the South Carolina lowlands 11 weeks ago.”
Do I make myself CLEAR Gentlemen
Do you know who’s YOUR Daddy
Gentlemen are you EVER going to
do anything WRONG Gentlemen
I CAN’T HEAR YOU LOUDER Gentlemen
Welcome to the NEW NBA Gentlemen
” COMMISSIONER DON’T WORRY ”