Fat Chance

Updated: July 22, 2008


We’re taking bets here

right here in the Box

just don’t call this

a gambling site and

of course only from

states and countries

where it’s legal

The Box is offering 1000-1 odds AGAINST President George W. Bushotherwise known as Lame DUCK Bush that Bush will NOT grant Marion Jones request for a Pardon if we can stop laughing long enough to TAKE your money. It must be very boring in whatever minimum security prison Marion is hanging out in or maybe she’s not getting enough “love” in the Slammer.

But it is True. Marion Jones has written The White House – soon to be The Black House – seeking a Pardon from President Bush. EXCUSE US we’ll continue this Box when we are able to stop LAUGHING. Let’s see. Dear President Bush .. You don’t know me. I’ve never done anything for you. I’m definitely not a Republican. And by the way I pleaded guilty using ILLEGAL steroids. Had my Olympic Medals stripped. Lied under Oath and oh did I tell you I’m Black …..

so PLEASE pardon me


pardon me President Bush

Over in The WHITE House. ” Hey Dick Mr. Vice President SIR would you please throw this letter in the GARBAGE for me. Some whacked out BLACK steroid user a BLACK athlete none the less wants me to PARDON her … I know but DICK please stop laughing and rolling on my Oval Office floor you know I don’t like that and we have important issues to discuss like when do we start BOMBING Iran back to the stone age …. that will be fun.”

now SWITCH to Marion Jones

in her lonely prison cell talking to

one of her jail house “girl friends”

( please that’s not the point )

Marion talking ” I wonder if President Bush received my letter yet. I know he is so busy destroying countries to save us but still I hope he has time for my letter. I wonder if anyone else thought to ask the President for a pardon ??? Somebody told me he gets thousands of those letters a week but I know they were just kidding me.”

Marion still talking ( to herself ) ” You know what if he gives me my pardon right away and it’s a FULL pardon the kind I want I still have time to get to Beijing in time for the Olympics and find that son of a bitch from the International Olympic Committee and get my dawn GOLD Medals back from him ….”

“…. the ones they stole for me because they doctored my urine samples so it would appear I was taking illegal steroids as though I’m so stupid that I don’t know how to beat those tests …. and after I get ALL my Medals back I’m going right back on that Olympic track and …..”

” ….. win myself a bunch more GOLD Medals and Nike will give me another big fat endorsement deal and when I get back home the grateful people of America will give me a ticker tape parade up Broadway in New York City then I’ll go to Washington to get my Congressional Medal of Honor then I’ll head for Chicago to be on Oprah and stop by Barack and MIchelle’s house for dinner and talk about President Obama appointing me Secretary of State …”

Back at The WHITE House

” Dick what’s the story ……

did you throw out that letter

from that WHACKY Black

athlete yet … we’ve got to

get ready to BOMB Iran ”

” Sorry Mr. President I had

to read it again it’s so …

hysterical .. now let’s

let’s give it to Iran.”

And they all lived

happily ever after

( except Iran )

Marion Jones ” REMEMBER ME “