World Without Tiger What Does It Mean?

Updated: June 19, 2008


Tiger Woods did or did not

do something STUPID

competing in the Open

dependent on whether

or not you think


worth the Cost

to his Health

Worth it or not Woods will now effectively be off the Golf Course for a long time for literally the first time in his life possibly until next year’s Masters in April that’s if there are no additional complications. While on the Mend he is going to have LOTS of time to do other things he has NEVER done before IF he chooses. Or just play with his Kid.

Of course Tiger has the LUXURY of sitting around and doing NOTHING except his rehab if he chooses and the Dough will just keep rolling in minus those BIG tournament checks for a while. Not that he needs them. It is also interesting to the extent it is to anyone but Tiger how would he respond if either his doctors recommended or he decided it was not worth the wear and tear on his damages legs to return to Active Competition.

And there is ONE more question

maybe easily the most interesting

of all Tiger’s ABSENCE will NO

longer MASK the fact there really are

NO AFRICAN Americans in Golf

All Tiger’s oversized presence has done is allow White America and much of Black America unfortunately to ignore the ABSENCE of African Americans in Golf. Woods who basically denies he is AFRICAN American to everyone else sure seems to be and the way the HYPE Machine has pumped him up it appears as though there are thousands of AFRICAN Americans out there when there is ONLY Tiger Woods.

Well that FANTASY won’t be

available for the rest of the year

or maybe even longer

Anyone watching ANY major or minor golf tournaments the rest of 2008 will see NO African Americans anywhere NOT playing NOT as caddies even any more certainly NOT as tournament officials OR sponsors. NO where to be found.

Let’s return to Tiger for a moment in

his multi-million dollar MANSION

in a GATED Florida community

NO he did not invite us we had

to sneak in past the guards and

alarms the Box is resourceful

Beautiful WOW and those gold faucets very nice and the diamond encrusted carpets WOWWOW anyway we are not here for a tour of the Mansion. The Box is here while Tiger is sleeping to try and plant some IDEAS in his brain he would never ever consider if he was conscious. We’re working on his SUB-conscious. Brilliant !

So here’s the deal …..

We want to get Tiger to actually do something useful something he can be PROUD of during his DOWN time even if in his waking state that is the furthest from his mind when he has his plane and his yacht and homes here there and everywhere and “friends” all over to AMUSE himself for the rest of the year and Beyond. Still we’ve got a PLAN !

We slipped into his bedroom don’t WORRY we made sure he and his wife was fast asleep. Nothing kinky here our motives are PURE. So as Tiger slept we pulled out our carefully developed list and read it over and over into Tiger’s sleeping ear.

Here is the List


“Why don’t I start a new academy in fact academies all across the U.S. specifically to train other young AFRICAN American golfers AFRICAN Americans just like me.”


” Why don’t I use my expensive airplane to go on a speaking tour around the country to AFRICAN American communities to grammar and high schools and Black Churches and tell my AFRICAN American brothers and sisters it is a DISGRACE in fact it is RACISM that I am the only AFRICAN American in professional golf.”


” Why don’t I hold press conferences in every major city DEMANDING that the Professional Golfers Association APOLOGIZE for the institutional RACISM in golf AND tell them to announce a host of new programs for AFRICAN Americans like me .. my BLACK brothers and sisters.”


” Why don’t I set up appointments with the CEOs of every one of the Fortune 1000 companies and persuade them to develop advertising programs and scholarship programs for talented young AFRICAN Americans like me to go to the best colleges with the strongest golf programs AND to give lucrative sponsorships to young AFRICAN American men and women trying to join the Tour ”


” Wait a second WHY should I stop with golf there is RACISM all over American Sports why don’t I ………. ”

THAT’S IT turns out Tiger’s young daughter woke up and started CRYING at that point and apparently her 12 nannies were all fast asleep but sure enough Tiger and his wife heard her and began to wake up and we had to get the hell out of there fast OVER the barbed wire and electrified fences. To our waiting BASN helicopter.

It’s too soon to know

if our great experiment

was a success but if you

hear reports of Tiger talking

CRAZY saying how proud he

is to be AFRICAN American

and announcing all sorts of

initiatives well Box readers

will know the TRUTH

send Congratulations

to the email below

Tiger Woods ” I HAD THE STRANGEST ….