By Anthony McClean, Editor In Chief Emeritus NEW HAVEN (BASN) —...
Sneak Preview Obama’s Olympic Broadcast Ads
SNEAK PREVIEW OBAMA’S OLYMPIC BROADCAST ADS ” HELLO FROM BEIJING “
Barack Obama having decided
to Worship at the Altar of Money
and decline Public Financing of
his Presidential Campaign is
going for the Gold
You may have heard expecting to RAISE unprecedented amounts of campaign cash from every money interest from coast to coast just as long as they all promise they expect nothing from him after giving him hundreds of millions for his campaign.
Having gotten that out of the way Barack is looking to spend here there and everywhere. And one target on his agenda is the Olympic broadcasts from Beijing. In another Box exclusive we have learned not only is Barack Obama thinking of advertising on the NBC Olympic broadcasts but yes he will ADVERTISE on the Olympics.
Using top secret methods we cannot describe here the Black Box has obtained copies of the very ads that Barack Obama intends to run during the Olympics on NBC. Here are the transcripts of those ads you will find nowhere else.
” Hi I’m Barack Obama and I approved this ad. I am speaking to you from the Olympics. OK I’m not really at the Olympics but I could be. As you know current President George Bush is there and I want all Americans to know that had I been President today I too would be in Beijing kissing the asses of the Chinese dictators who rule China.”
” While George Bush may be the worst President in American history when it comes to the Chinese I too will do everything possible to appease their unelected authoritarian leaders. WHY. Because that is what the biggest most powerful corporations in America want.”
“Of course during the campaign I am going to tell voters what I think you want to hear but be assured when I am your President I will act just like any other President. So trust me you can confidently vote for me this November.”
” My fellow Americans of all colors and creeds I like Tiger Woods embrace everyone. I will not refuse any of your contributions up to the legal limit during this Presidential campaign. As I already told you in my last broadcast ad from the Olympics I am not really in Beijing even though this high tech ad makes you think I am.”
” I want you to know that the repression in China should not bother you, that the pollution in China should not bother you, that the Chinese treat their Olympic athletes like cattle should not bother you, that the Chinese government spies on Americans as much as they do do should not bother you, that China supports the brutilization in Sudan and terrorization of Tibet should not bother you.”
” And I want you to know that as your President none of this will bother me because it is far more important that we appease the Chinese government so that they will keep accepting American corporate investments in China and producing low cost products to sell to us in America while destroying jobs here.”
“My name is Barack Obama and I happily approved this ad ”
” You already know I am Barack Obama and of course I approved this ad. Now let me tell you the truth I am in Beijing for the Olympics. I could not stay away. I love Sports and now that I will be the Democratic candidate for President I can do anything I want.”
” I want all my fellow Americans to appreciate what it is like and I am not even President yet. Anything I want I get and I never have to reach into my pocket or ask a second time. I can be in the middle of nowhere and out of the blue to no one in particular I say I’d really like some Ben & Jerry’s limited edition hard to find quadruple chocolate embedded with kangaroo hair and great white shark testicle and before you know it I have more than I can eat of it as if by magic. By the way it is goooood.”
” Then I said why not go to the Olympics instead of just making campaign ads for the Olympic broadcast and next thing I know my huge private campaign jet is gliding down the runway headed for Beijing. Granted the air here is a little tough to breathe and my iPhone has been hacked by the Chinese twice but I’m sitting in the best seats in the house.”
” So what’s the point of this expensive ad. Since you can’t be President and have all this fun, I will do it for you and you can enjoy all the unbelievable perks by making believe you are me, and even make believe that you are Black if you’re not. So please contribute all you can to my Presidential campaign. Do it for me do it for you and your fantasies. This is Barack Obama LIVE from Beijing and you can bet your ass I approved this ad.”
So that’s the story Barack Obama is once again at the leading edge ready to raise incredible amounts of money for his general election campaign instead of accepting Public Financing as his LOSER opponent has decided to do. And Barack will be the FIRST Presidential candidate ever to advertise during the Olympics. And Box readers are the FIRST to gain access to the super-secret ads Obama intends to broadcast during the Olympics.
If Barack keeps it up
who knows just how
IMPRESSED we may be
with the first BLACK President
” My name isn’t Barack Obama and
I sure didn’t approve this Black Box “
” ARE THOSE REALLY YOUR ADS “