A Very American Coup By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor-in-Chief...
What Frank Thomas Released
FRANK THOMAS RELEASED IS THIS BLUE JAY A DEAD DUCK
How can this be we
only a week or so
ago we did a Box
And since the Box is NEVER wrong. Something must be WRONG. In Toronto. As you can see from the recent “photo” above their Blue Jay is flat on his back. Or is he DEAD. Something is WRONG here.
This is a case for the award winning – we are projecting into the future – Box Investigative Team. As expensive as it is for BASN to maintain it often doing nothing but sitting around headquarters waiting time on the Internet waiting for a BIG case. We’ll we’ve got one.
Something is WRONG here.
If you remember and even if you don’t. After Thomas’ stellar season last year the Blue Jays literally begged – this is our Box and we’ll decide on the descriptions we choose thank you – they BEGGED Thomas to sign a hefty NEW two year contract which he did. Even though he could just as well be fishing or working for the Obama campaign. Our idea.
So what happened ??
Out of the blue as in BLUE Jays Toronto unceremoniously – could you image them holding a firing ceremony – Toronto UNCEREMONIOUSLY released Thomas over the Weekend. They say for his POOR performance this season. HELLO. What season it just began two or so weeks ago. Teams haven’t even played two dozen games yet. There are almost 150 games and over 5 months to go in 2008.
Sure sounds SUSPICIOUS
If only we had those guys on that TV show Numbers working for us. That brilliant mathematician what’s his name who always connects the dots in ways no one else can and solves the “crime” in less than an hour of TV time. OK even without CBS on our side we are going to crack this case. It isn’t going to become a COLD case here.
Looks like Frank Thomas figured it out too
“It’s pretty obvious,” Thomas said. “Sixty at-bats isn’t enough to make that decision. I’m angry, I know I can help this team. My career isn’t going to end like this.”
“You know what’s going on and I know what’s going on,” Thomas told reporters, suggesting the club was trying to avoid having to pay him for next year. “We’ll see how it plays out. I’m just a little frustrated right now. There are some things going on around here this year that I haven’t been happy about.”
“There’s no bitterness here for me,” said Thomas, whose 516 home runs rank 18th all time. “I understand the business of baseball. They’re moving toward the future. It’s a (good) situation for me because I didn’t have to sit here and go through being benched.”
“Take a look at the other big-time DHs out there,” Thomas said. “Look at Jim Thomas [.182, 4 HRs, 13 RBIs] and Gary Sheffield [.208, 1 HR, 2 RBIs]. My numbers are right on par with them. They’re getting more than 60 at-bats.”
“That’s nothing new,” Thomas said about the change to his stance. “Some days I’m up and some days I’m down. That’s just the way I do things.”
So here is WHAT Thomas and our Box Investigative Team concluded ….
Thomas said Saturday “it’s pretty obvious” that his benching was due to his contract instead of a lack of production. THAT IS THE DEAL. Turns out the Blue Jay mucky mucks decided they got too euphoric after Thomas’s performance last season and offered him too generous a new contract. And that if he stayed with the team deep into this season some very attractive clauses kick in for Thomas guaranteeing him another load of Mullah.
Simply for showing up NO matter how he was performing for the team so when he went into an early season slump they decided better to CUT Thomas and save the Big Bucks he would be GUARANTEED if he stayed around deep into the season problem is the Jays will now SUFFER for being so short sighted dumping Thomas now we’ll see how both end up their 2008 stay tuned for more exciting developments right here in the Box
” OR AM I THE DEAD DUCK ”