No Bending For Beckham

By Eric D. Graham
Updated: April 24, 2008

“How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people? Now that you know who you are, what do you want to be? And have you traveled very far? Far as the eye can see”

— The Beatles from their song: “Baby, You’re a Rich Man”.

NORTH CAROLINA — According to the legend of Paul Revere, he jumped on his horse and shouted, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”

Well, the greatest British invasion since the Beatles has already attacked the U.S. His name is David Beckham. David Beckham? Who the heck is David Beckham? And what’s all the hype about?

Beckham moved from England to Los Angeles in order to make soccer more “attractive” to the Americans. Notice the emphasis on the word “attractive.”

But oddly, the only thing Beckham has done since he has been here is take alot of semi-nude photos for celebrity magazines. He, however has done absolutely nothing for the sport of soccer.

On his recent 60-minute’s interview, he showed off his signature side winding kick to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who unsuccessful tried stopping it. But even I can score a goal against Anderson Cooper so David Beckham kick your soccer balls somewhere else because I’m not buying it.

Besides, I love football not soccer, but this is deeper than my love for football over soccer, this is media’s clever way to “whitewash” the game of soccer to appeal more to a white audience.

Beckham, all of sudden has become the “poster boy” or should I say “pin-up boy” for a sport dominated around the globe by players of African descent.

Will America embrace Beckham before Ronaldinho (Brazil), Robinho (Brazil), Thierry Henry (France) Ferdinand (England), Christiano Ronaldo (Portugal), Emmanuel Adebyor (Togo) or Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast).

This is not a conspiracy. This is only a theory. This is not a personal attack on David Beckham. He is only a symbol of British elitism as well as British imperialism.

By definition, a symbol is an object used to represent something else. Remember, when the British tabloids caught Prince Henry attending a friend’s fancy dress party in a Nazi uniform, the timing of the incident could not have been worse, as it occurred just after the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz.

What did this symbolize?

Let’s not forget that soccer has some of the most racist and unruly fans in sports. This is not only subjugated to the known skinhead “hooligans.” This racist attitude also includes a majority of its audience overseas.

For instance, top players Samuel Eto’o and Thierry Henry have experienced some of the most vicious attacks from fans during soccer matches. Eto’o recalled hearing the fans making monkey sounds every time he touched the ball.

Hearing these racial incidents makes me want to head-butt somebody in the chest like Zinedine Zidane. This is why Vogue magazine controversial April cover of basketball superstar LeBron James depicted as King Kong while holding German born-Brazilian super model Gisele Bundchen is so disturbing.

Remember, the British Empire was created off of sugar and slavery. This is historically significant, because many British banking institutions had their fiscal jump starts due to the slave trade, especially Barclay’s Bank.

Barclay’s Bank, in fact, recently purchased the F.A.Premier League in England in 2004. With the purchase, F.A. Premier League has become more and more laden with players from Africa and the Africa Diaspora which include players like Adelbyer (Arsenal),Yakubu (Everton), Michael Essien (Chelsa), Jermaine Deture (Pompey), Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United), and Didier Drogha (Chelsa) and the list goes on.

It is known and well documented, however that the original founders David and Alexander Barclay, which the banking institution is named after provided credit and insured slave traders and their ships as well as the chains that housed and bonded our ancestors during the operation of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade.

This is the ugly history of Football which is referred to as “The Beautiful Game!!”

So maybe we should be cautious when so-called “beautiful people come promoting it. For instance, when David Beckham and his wife/pop singer Victoria Beckham first stepped on American soil, the Hollywood paparazzi snapped their photograph in a religious frenzy as if Jesus of Nazareth was riding into Jerusalem.

“Save us, save soccer!!” They seem to be screaming.

The British has always been depicted as being “civilized” or “civil” while the rest of the world is viewed as “savage.” So you shouldn’t be surprised when David Beckham appears on Snoop Dog’s reality show “Fatherhood” teaching him how to play soccer.

This new form of celebrity-driven colonialism can be seen as Hollywood celebrities travel around the world in so-called Third World countries adopting African children.

This form of save the children adoptions are controversial because children are completely removed from their homeland and placed in a Disney-world like atmospheres in the homes of celebrities like Scientologist Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, and oddly British-speaking pop-diva Madonna.

As one famous comedian said, “The adoption of African children has become the new Hollywood accessory similar to getting a new Gucci bag or the new Louie Vutton purse.”

Now, Paris Hilton (notice the name), the new version of America’s dumb blonde, has pledged to help save the children in Africa. This is really scary. This British civilization training can also be subliminally seen in another television show on ABC entitled the “Super Nanny”, starring Jo Frost, who talks with a heavy British accent.

Her job of course is to save poor American families how to raise their bad children and teach them how to behave “properly”. Historically in America, the Black woman played the role of the nanny, who “civilized” the master’s children, but she wasn’t considered the “Super Nanny”.

The real, super nanny, is actually Oprah Winfrey, who is worshiped by white women around the world. Let’s not forget, that nana is actually a Ghanaian word that actually meaning is “Mother of the Earth.”

On a scholarly level, however, the British have always referred to Americans as the “Jethro Bodine” society which is a sarcastic reference to the television show, “The Beverly Hillbillies” to show how traditionally dumb American society is.

Remember, those who settled in the “New World” were considered the rejects, uneducated, and the low-lives of British royal society. But, this is not bloody England old chap. This is “New England.”

So one should not be shocked the find comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who has made a living off of “You Might Be A Red-Neck” jokes hosting a television show entitled “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader.”

The L.A. Galaxy, however, didn’t seem to be smarter than a fifth grader because they showed how dumb their organization was when they decided to pay the 31-year old midfielder $250 million for three years.

This stereotypical image well-mannered British gentleman against slow-speaking good old country boy actual could be seen in the last installment of Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice” in which former tabloid editor, host of “America Has Talent” Piers Morgan faces-off with country singer Trace Adkins.

Piers Morgan, not only displayed the British elitist attitude, he also used derogatory language to describe African-American contestant Amrosa Stallworth. But guess who eventually won the show?

The promotion of this type of British elitism is also displayed on another favorite American talent show called “American Idol.” The star of the show, however, is not the young performers, it’s the arrogant, British judge Simon Cowell.

The concept of the show is, “Simon says” but Simon has no talent.

So I guess in the same fashion, Major League Soccer and the L.A.Galaxy continue to the spread the new form of British elitism and imperialism when they paid the 31-year-old midfielder $250 million for three years to become “America’s New Top Model, because he is hand-picked, polished, promoted, and packaged but has few record sells…I mean tickets sells.

In other words, I am still not going to watch soccer.

No thanks to David Beckham of course.