NFL Tackles Hair Problem

Updated: March 27, 2008


It took long enough for

Commissioner Roger GOOdell

( as in roger and OUT )

to get to the truly important

stuff like player hair length

the wait is OVER

To no ones surprise others are finding humor in the proposal made by the Kansas City Chiefs – why them no one knows – that will now become a major issue for discussion and vote at the next and upcoming owners meeting. To require all NFL players keep all their hair in their helmets. And what if it doesn’t all fit. Well what do you think. They will either have to a) go buy a bigger helmet, or 2) get it cut.

Well stop laughing Sports Fans. Unlike the so called “major” (sic) media we know this is NO laughing matter. This really has nothing to do with hair or worry on the part of the owners of players being tackled by their locks. This is all about CONTROL. The owners OWN the League and the players WORK for them. Any questions ?

And of course this new proposed rule will almost exclusively apply to who do you think AFRICAN American players. After all didn’t the NFL have to CLAMP down on excessive shows of exuberance on the field especially after TDs. Who was at fault.

AFRICAN American players

That’s the kind of problems you have when over 70% of your players are AFRICAN American. Baseball got the message long ago. They have virtually eliminated AFRICAN American players. The PGA ALWAYS has strictly limited the number of AFRICAN American players on Tour. They’ve kept the number at 0 most years. And since Tiger isn’t really AFRICAN American no worry there. Tennis does almost as well. Bad enough they have to tolerate the Williams Sisters. But they’ll be gone soon.

As for College Sports. NO problem. The all seeing all knowing NCAA really knows how to CONTROL players. Just let those AFRICAN American players let their hair hang outside their helmets. Even the NCAA is sensitive to the larger “problem.” Outside of Basketball and Football where AFRICAN American student athletes are human CASH registers for the NCAA. With very few exceptions elsewhere in College Sports AFRICAN Americans are almost entirely excluded eliminating hair or other “problems.”

So stop LAUGHING Major Media and making light of what ultimately is a very important issue that goes to the heart of the NFL. May Vince Lombardi rest in peace. Disruptive AFRICAN American behavior MUST be purged from Football. Why do you think there are so few AFRICAN American coaches and NO AFRICAN American owners. It is for everyone’s good including AFRICAN Americans.

For God’s SAKE does the NFL have to worry about Tom Brady or either of the WONDERFUL Manning Brothers hair bursting out of their helmets. NO. What more do you need to know these PERFECT Role Models know that hair is meant to be short and kept in your helmet. The only real question or controversy here is WHY did it take the NFL so long to act. AFRICAN American players have been EXPOSING their hair for years.

Maybe the AFRICAN American players

should take a cue from the next

AFRICAN American President

ever see him with shoulder

length hair or DREAD locks

everyone APPLAUD

Kansas City’s Chiefs

in fact let’s sing

She asks me why I’m just a hairy guy I’m hairy noon and night Hair that’s a fright I’m hairy high and low Don’t ask me why Don’t know It’s not for lack of break Like the Grateful Dead Darling Gimme head with hair Long beautiful hair Shining, gleaming, Streaming, flaxen, waxen Give me down to there hair Shoulder length or longer Here baby, there mama Everywhere daddy daddy Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair Flow it, show it Long as God can grow it My hair Let it fly in the breeze And get caught in the trees Give a home to the fleas in my hair A home for fleas A hive for bees A nest for birds There ain’t no words For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder Of my…

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair Flow it, show it Long as God can grow it My hair I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty Oily, greasy, fleecy Shining, gleaming, streaming Flaxen, waxen Knotted, polka-dotted Twisted, beaded, braided Powdered, flowered, and confettied Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

Oh say can you see My eyes if you can Then my hair’s too short Down to here Down to there Down to where It stops by itself They’ll be ga ga at the go go When they see me in my toga My toga made of blond Brilliantined Biblical hair My hair like Jesus wore it Hallelujah I adore it Hallelujah Mary loved her son Why don’t my mother love me?

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair Flow it, show it Long as God can grow it My hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair Flow it, show it Long as God can grow it My hair

( add new closing line chorus sing )