The Twelve Days of Christmas

By L.A. Batchelor
Updated: December 24, 2007

NORTH CAROLINA — On the first day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

A conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the second day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the third day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the fourth day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the fifth day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the sixth day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

NBA dirty referees

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the seventh day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

Bonds still looks guilty

NBA dirty referees

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the eighth day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

App tames the Wolverines

Bonds still looks guilty

NBA dirty referees

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the ninth day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

Marion Jones has to give up the gold

App tames the Wolverines

Bonds still looks guilty

NBA dirty referees

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the 10th day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

The Patriots are caught spying in “SPYGATE”

Marion Jones has to give up the gold

App tames the Wolverines

Bonds still looks guilty

NBA dirty referees

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the 11th day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

“Thrice is nice” for Appalachian State

The Patriots are caught spying in “SPYGATE”

Marion Jones has to give up the gold

App tames the Wolverines

Bonds still looks guilty

NBA dirty referees

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see

On the 12th day of Christmas, the sports world gave to me:

Dungy finally gets the Championship he deserves

“Thrice is nice” for Appalachian State

The Patriots are caught spying in “SPYGATE”

Marion Jones has to give up the gold

App tames the Wolverines

Bonds still looks guilty

NBA dirty referees

IIIIIIIIIMUS STUPIDITY!

Tiger’s continuing dominance

Spurs champions again

Clemens guilty of the “ROIDS”

And a conviction of Michael Vick I cannot see…..

Predictions for 2008:

Jacksonville will win the Super Bowl

The San Antonio Spurs will win the NBA Championship again

Appalachian State will win their fourth straight NCAA Division I-A Championship

Barry Bonds will beat the charges currently against him

Roger Clemens will admit to steroids

Oklamona State will be the BCS National Champions in football

Georgetown will win the National Championship in basketball

The UConn Lady Huskies will win the National Championship

The Detroit Tigers will win the World Series

If I’m wrong, I WILL TOTALLY DENY EVERYTHING!

Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and have a safe, blessed and prosperous New Year in 2008!

Let’s hope 2008 is even more powerful than 2007!