By Anthony McClean, Editor In Chief Emeritus NEW HAVEN (BASN) —...
Thanksgiving Story Pardon Me
THANKSGIVING PARDON ME
“I CAN PARDON BLACK TURKEYS TOO”
Who says there is just one
kind of Turkey worthy of
President Bush’s pardon
Pardon us but we
think there are
How about HUMAN Turkeys. Why not ?? Why not a new tradition the President Pardoning TWO Turkeys for Thanksgiving. And what fairness. Both a White Turkey which he has ( see above ) and a Black Turkey a human one.
YES indeed we have some one in mind
and we’re serious this Box
For Thanksgiving is
NOT an Allegory
NOT only that this is a very serious Box. PARDON MICHAEL VICK. This entire incident ha grown completely out of control. Yes Vick was involved in Dog Fighting. Yes Vick even destroyed some of the dogs. Yes he deserves to pay a price. But he does NOT deserve to be made a Scape Goat for Society.
Right now Michael Vick
is in prison for
Vick voluntarily surrendered early to begin serving his Sentence that could amount to a couple of years. That’s before a vindictive out of control media hungry state district attorney in Virginia tries to convict Vick a second time for the same activities this time for breaking state law on top of federal law.
Charging him with the exact same offenses a second time. Sadly in OUR criminal system the courts have ruled YES indeed here in America the Beautiful NO it is NOT double-jeopardy to try and convict someone for the same exact crime a second time if there are separate federal and local laws involved.
It is a loop hole only used “normally” for the worst criminals in order to put them away for a good long time because the time allowed is so light. But completely inappropriately and to virtually every legal experts surprise it is being applied to Vick. And since Vick has already pleaded guilty in Federal Court in effect he will be automatically convicted in State Court a second time because he has confessed.
Back to Jail
So Vick will be having his Thanksgiving dinner in some minimum security prison. Yea most likely it is turkey but not the quality he would expect back home and the trimmings will be decidedly slimmer. Pumpkin pie ?? Allow us a frivolous aside here. Yes you can find Levity anywhere if you try. It is interesting rather than turning himself in just AFTER Thanksgiving Vick turned himself in just BEFORE Thanksgiving.
It just might be this is an example of the Reality of Thanksgiving for many Americans. Not the Norman Rockwell type Thanksgiving family gathering but rather the Thanksgiving from HELL many Americans experience literally “forced” to spend a day with those who they normally avoid ay almost any cost their often very DYSFUNCTIONAL family.
We don’t know but Vick might have considered it a minor blessing to miss Thanksgiving with the “family” having an excuse that is air tight. For once avoiding those uncles with their hand out or the cousins who want to play football with Uncle Michael or those obnoxious strangers some family members are “famous” for bringing along because supposedly they had no where else to go. Who knows Michael might have even been one of those who laments the Day After he ate too much. NO problem in Jail.
Anyway enough trampling on
such a Great American Tradition
We are here on Thanksgiving with Serious Purpose. In all honesty we are recommending Michael Vick say out loud shout out “I AM A TURKEY ” for what he did to those dogs and then President Bush should we mean this this is NOT satire President Bush should PARDON Vick. Which as President he has complete power to do. The reality is that White Turkey above in the photo does not even need a Pardon. He wasn’t going to land on anyone’s Thanksgiving table anyway. Vick needs a Pardon.
The fact is when wrong doers like the Patriots Bill Belichick go unpunished for their Crimes without any more than a Big Fine, Michael Vick is punished enough having been banned from the NFL for the 2007 season, having lost millions in income far far more than Belichick’s $500,000 fine undermining the very integrity of Sports.
In addition place Michael Vick on Probation for even 10 years that if he commits any additional Crime whatever it is he will immediately be forced back to jail to complete his original sentence. Even force him to wear an “ankle bracelet” to monitor him off the Gridiron. Subject him to “house arrest” for the next year or two when he is not physically involved in pursuing his profession. Requite him to make frequent speeches about the evils of the abuse of animals. Fine him an additional $500,000.
BUT LET HIM OUT OF JAIL
and let him play Football
in the NFL next year
Because the sentence and the punishment he is receiving is RIDICULOUS and may even become even worse after this Whacko State Attorney tries to convict Vick a second time for the very same crime. YES MICHAEL VICK IS A TURKEY but he does not deserve to have his Brilliant Career stolen from him which can never be reclaimed.
As so many others have pointed out there is HYPOCRISY here that stretches from sea to shining sea. Had Vick decided to shoot deer or bears or yes even turkeys he could have gone out and bought as many guns and as much ammunition as his heart desired and gone out in the woods and literally slaughtered as many animals as he wanted until he was too tired to lift his rifle as long as he paid for his license to kill animals. And by the way if he was a lousy shot and just painfully injured those animals to then suffer for hours or days or longer NO problem. NO crime.
So President Bush how about it
rather than the annual silliness
of “pardoning” a White Turkey
each Thanksgiving this year
pardon a Black TURKEY
and do some real good
a Happy Thanksgiving
to All from the Box
Whenever you want to reach us with comments or better yet an idea for a topic for the Box ……. firstname.lastname@example.org
” GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE “