By Anthony McClean, Editor In Chief Emeritus NEW HAVEN (BASN) —...
” RICKY HOW ABOUT FOOTBALL “
He’s back maybe
for us this is
If only Lucille Ball were still alive and in her prime. She could have ditched the other Ricky even sooner for Ricky Williams. Think about the possibilities. Comedy AND Football. Is there a better combination ??
And why keep you in suspense. YES Ricky is back. His (latest) suspension is over. The Dolphins welcomed him back with open arms. Of course they would have done the same for the Other Ricky. When you are 0-9 with the worst record in the NFL and in danger of going 0-16 you’d welcome anyone willing to walk through the club house door.
In fact there are unconfirmed reports Miami wants Ricky to smoke Dope and share it with all his teammates. They are ready to install a new air “conditioning” system in the locker room so that the fans don’t also expect Free Dope. As for the team it is referred to as The Bill Belichick Technique. Use whatever works.
Supposedly way way back in May when the Dolphins actually expected to field a real football team this season “reportedly” the Dolphins new head coach Cam Cameron – just call him Cam Cam – was not HIGH on having Williams rejoin the team. That may have been before he was forced to hit the Weed himself to forget juts how bad his team is. Now here in November Cameron is very HIGH on getting Williams back.
Fortunately or unfortunately Ricky won’t be eligible to play until next week. By which time the Dolphins should be 0-10. Next week when Ricky can play Miami takes on Pittsburgh who is playing the second worst team in the NFL this week the New Jersey Jets. Which means Pittsburgh will be 8-2 by next week.
Might as well give Ricky an extra week off. Let him be well rested and ready for the really BIG game on December 2nd. YES the projected 0-11 Dolphins versus the projected 1-10 New Jersey Jets. Why is this game so BIG. Because The Jersey Jet’s only win this season was in a close 31-28 victory over Miami way back on September 23rd.
That game will be about Redemption
Miami’s ONLY chance to avoid
the ultimate embarrassment of
a completely winless season
Back to Ricky and Lucy
We’re serious very serious. Why not the NEW Ricky & Lucy Show. Everything else gets revived. And by the way Ricky Ricardo was also a member of a “minority.” Ricky Williams with a brand new Lucy. There are lots of funny women out there to choose from. Or maybe a dramatic unexpected choice like say …. Paris Hilton. Think about it Ricky Williams and Paris Hilton as Ricky and Lucy.
Of course the plot lines will be made contemporary. And rather than the Old Ricky being an actor always trying to get a new offer and with Lucy doing everything she can to assist his career as comical as the results were. The new Ricky can play himself ( as the Old Ricky did by the way ) as a football player trying to get back on the field sign with a new team. Paris “Lucy” Hilton will be his wife trying to convince coaches to hire Ricky.
In fact the new show can be set in Denver where a bunch of Pot Heads have started a campaign to get Ricky traded to the Broncos because he does smoke Marijuana. In one episode Lucy can put on a disguise that fools Ricky into believing she is some pot smoking “hippie” to try and find out if Ricky has really given up the Dope.
Lucy will appear at their apartment undetected to find Ricky and ask if has anything to smoke. Ricky will pull out some Weed and not to blow her cover Lucy will smoke some and get high and then leave to find the Broncos coach and convince him to hire Ricky which she does because she turns out to be so convincing high on marijuana. Lucy then rushes back to Ricky to tell him the good news and smoke another joint.
Remember all the comedy writers are out on strike so we had to make this up ourselves. But you get the idea. Ricky is a unique resource for the NFL. Like Bill Belichick. And if Ricky can play football and act that can be good for Ricky and the NFL. Giving Ricky something to do in the off-season besides smoke Dope. And the NFL will be able to reach an audience that might not normally be NFL fans. Ricky has already created unexpected football interest among marijuana smokers. Why not other audiences.
Comedy suits Ricky Williams and
the National Football League
add the likes of Paris Hilton
and her comedic genius
who knows how far
this could go plus
why limit it to football
Barry Bonds and
this could be
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” I’M READY FOR ANYTHING ”