Barry Bonds Has Entered

Updated: November 16, 2007


Too Bad

that famous old TV show

The Twilight Zone

is long gone

And Creator Rod Serling

long Dead

Because Barry Bonds could have become even more famous with an episode based on him. Maybe the show with him would win an Emmy. Another award for Barry to enjoy. Maybe Barry could play himself as he will in a Reality Show scheduled for ESPN that will star Barry and his quest to top Babe Ruth then Hank Aaron.

We’d ask Barry ourselves

except Barry has a new rule


Unless media members sign wavers allowing any conversations between him and them to be used as footage without consideration on his new Reality Show. Like basically everyone else in the media we have refused.

Now we’ll be left to worry Barry will punish us for writing about him the Box anyway. In fact we have learned Barry is trying to get a new Amendment added to the U.S. Constitution that to write badly about him will be punished as a Federal Crime. So we had better write fast.

But you have to understand Barry positions

He is in a League by himself.

He has used his super human skills to will himself a God above and beyond mere human criticism. Especially above and beyond those puny individuals who continue to accuse him of past and prolonged Steroid use.

Don’t they know Barry has no need for Steroids and never has. Barry simply woke up one day and decided he was unhappy with his physique and his home run count and willed himself to a Higher Dimension. Where his Body became SuperMan like and where the power of his Mind willed those Baseballs over those Fences.

Barry is no mere Mortal

people must accept that fact.

And because he is now willing to expose himself on Reality TV the moment by moment details as he overcomes all obstacles and topples Ruth and then Aaron to become The Greatest Athlete in the History of the Universe we will all get to watch on ESPN the secret details of his exemplary life.

And Barry has

other Weighty Matters to ponder

To Retire or Not to Retire

after this Season

Do we mortals deserve to witness Barry after the 2006 season. Or will he punish us all by making this his last season and forcing us to live the rest of our lives without the joy of seeing Barry step up to the Plate and his Another One.

Our closely guarded information is that Barry will evaluate how well we treat him, we meaning all 300 million Americans Worship Him with proper respect this Season, and if we do yes Barry might just play again in 2007 ! But No Promises.

But regardless in

his Greatness & Mercy

Barry will not deny us the most memorable moment any of us will ever experience watching him hitting his 715th Home Run surpassing Babe Ruth and he will not force us to sign Wavers either to watch him do it or read about it.

But should Barry decide

To hit his 756th Home Run and surpass Hank Aaron to become The Greatest Human Being Who Has Ever Lived we have learned at great great risk to ourselves and the continued existence of the Box that Barry may decide to hit his 756th Home Run on Pay Per View on HBO for what will be a once in a lifetime privilege for mere mortals getting to watch Barry Bonds hit his 756th Home Run.

Or Barry may choose rather

to Punish all of us

every human who has ever lived

or will ever live for Eons to come

By NOT hitting his 756th Home Run EVER and forcing us to live our lives without witnessing that Cosmic Event. You must understand Barry will only surpass Hank Aaron if he chooses to he is already so Far Beyond Mere Mortals including Hank Aaron that there is no need for Barry to prove he is Better. He is.

Barry is already Perfect

he only plays Baseball

to amuse Himself.

And so ends this

Episode of the Twilight Zone


The Twilight Zone lives !!

and Barry is the Star.

dududu dudududu