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Why Vick Will Be MORE Popular After The Scandal Is Over
NEW YORK – I was taken aback by the bravado of Michael Vick as he was being filmed walking out of a movie theatre. Being interviewed by a reporter, Vick showed the confidence of a fat woman at a Jenny Craig meeting.
Strutting like George Jefferson on Viagra, Vick explained to the reporter that he is fearless and that he has support all over the world. While this was not the reaction I expected, it was the reaction I expected. Vick is a warrior.
He’s run head on into 350-pound, steroid-sucking linemen who want to eat his children. He has performed acrobatic miracles like Black Baby Jesus in front of 10 million people. None of this scares him, this makes him bold. This makes women love him enough to not care about the fact that he has herpes (or so they say).
Vick will, and it might shock you to hear this, become MORE popular after this scandal.
Football is a BARBARIC sport.
The more of a blood and guts, not-giving-a bleep kind of person you are, the more the fans love you.
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) might get mad, but they already hate most of us for eating meat anyway. Many hardcore football, wrestling and boxing fans are borderline cannibalistic carnivores who cheered when it looked like Michael Irvin might have broken his neck.
I say this without support or lack there of for Vick.
If he was dog fighting (yet to be proven in court), then he should be punished.
But that doesn’t mean he won’t still get the same kind of love that Tupac and Mike Tyson received after getting out of prison.
One thing Vick must realize, however, is that PETA is NOT some pansy, lettuce-eating organization filled with tree hugging hippies. Some of its members are among the most persistent, aggressive people in the world.
They can be worse than a deranged, gold digging baby’s mama when it comes to “making things even”. The 350-pound lineman is scary, but he doesn’t hunt you down until you are dead.
Not every PETA member shares this mentality, and I should make this point before they come after MY ass — I will mess with the KKK, but not PETA. So, I can say this to George Jefferson, I mean Michael Vick.
You got a problem homie, and you will be cast as a villain.
You might also go to jail, and some PETA members are going to hunt you down like George Bush at an Al Qaeda camp. But if Nike doesn’t sell your shoe, they are going to lose a lot of money.
In the end, your biggest fans will become even bigger.