By Anthony McClean, Editor In Chief Emeritus NEW HAVEN (BASN) —...
First Photos Exclusive Interview
FIRST PHOTOS EXCLUSIVE “INTERVIEW”
FATHER AND DAUGHTER
NO Tiger did not call us
and beg BASN to publish
his first baby pictures but
here they are anyway and
PRAISE THE LORD
Tiger’s baby is Black !
And since we didn’t want to bother Tiger, and Elin and baby makes three and do a “real” interview with Tiger about being a new father. Instead we used BASN’s incredible secret state of the art SuperComputer to create an interview with Tiger as good as NO better than a real interview EXCLUSIVELY for you ….
The Interview ………
Black Box …..
” Tiger first of all thank you for inviting us into your home for the very first interview following the recent birth of your daughter Sam and allow us to offer our Congratulations to you and Elin.”
” Thank you very much both Elin and I are so happy as I am sure all your readers can imagine. I wanted the Black Box to have the very first interview because I like the way you tackle issues and quite frankly that you don’t kiss my ass the way the rest of the media does.”
Black Box …..
” Thank you we pride ourselves on delivering the most unique coverage of you to be found anywhere. Tiger it’s quite obvious sitting here with you holding your daughter that she is and will live her life as a Black woman. How do you respond to a pointed observation like that.”
” Well Black Box that is exactly what I would expect you to ask me. The fact is as the Box has pointed out again and again for more than 5 years now that I have done nothing to identify with my African American roots. Indeed as you have noted time and again I even avoided the 50th Anniversary of Jackie Robinson although then President Clinton and virtually every notable other African American was at that event in New York in 1997.”
Black Box …..
” Tiger you’re rambling could you stay to our point.”
” Sorry. The point I was trying to get to is that holding this beautiful Black baby in my arms has been a life changing experience for me. Yes I chose to marry a very beautiful White woman but our new daughter is indeed Black and I am going to face the fact that while I have constantly referred to myself as multi-racial and multi-ethnic I am more than anything African American and so is my daughter. That is a fact I will no longer deny.”
Black Box ….
” So Tiger how will this effect you going forward.”
” Well quite frankly Black Box I am a changed man Black man that is from the moment I saw my wife giving birth and my daughter emerged from her womb in the hospital. It was like I was hit by lightning. Faced with this reality I cannot I will not bring my own daughter up to repeat the same nonsense I have been telling the world and the media these last 10 years.”
“Even more I expect she will be and I want her to be PROUDLY African American. I can’t expect her to be if I am not. To be even more truthful I don’t want to even contemplate the possibility Sam might even come to resent me her own father because she grows up hearing me talking that BS about not being African American or have her see me do nothing to speak up for Black Americans with all the power I have as a result of my success.”
Black Box …….
” That is all very noble Tiger. And we are honored that you chose the Box and BASN for this incredible revelation but can you tell us what your new found identity as a proud African American and father of a beautiful African American daughter will mean and how it will be displayed..”
” Well as you recognized Black Box this very interview is part of the process. Coming out of the African American Closet if you want a sound bite. More to the point I have to believe there is a very good chance Sam will want to follow in my footsteps and become a professional golfer herself 20 years from now.”
Hopefully with my genes and my instruction if she does there is a good chance Sam will be an outstanding professional golfer. Well I don’t want her to see what I do. That she is the ONLY African American she will ever see on the Tour. Or that ALL the LPGA officials and broadcasters are inevitably White or indeed that even all the caddies on the Tour are now White …..
” ….. I don’t want my Black daughter to only encounter African Americans in the locker room and in the kitchen and cutting the grass.”
Black Box ……
” So Tiger exactly what are you going to do to change this.”
” First of all Black Box it is what I have already done. I gave called both the President of the PGA and the LPGA to meet with me together next week to tell me what they are going to do to bring more African Americans young men and women into professional golf. And I don’t want to hear any of their BS about their non-sense outreach programs or once a year clinics for poor Black kids. I know their BS better than they do since I’ve been singing that song.”
” I’m going to ask them what target are they going to set over the next ten years and it had better be at least to have 10% of the players on both Tours be African American and at least 10% of the high paid officials in both organizations to be Black and I want them both to stand before the media along with me right away and apologize to the nation and to golf for their discriminatory policies of benign neglect that has made golf a Lily White Sport.”
Black Box …..
” WOW Tiger this is amazing you must admit coming from you. I am sure our readers will be delighted but not to be ungrateful what exactly will you do personally with your fame and your vast fortune to change golf.”
” Thank you Black Box for asking that very obvious question. As you know I play a limited schedule each season to allow myself plenty of time to enjoy my success. Well I am now going to take some of that free time and devote it to traveling around the nation on my private GulfStrean speaking in front of business and government gatherings demanding they become concerned with the inequalities in the vast American sports industry beginning with golf…”
” ….. and equally I am going to go to Black churches and Black schools and tell those congregations an those students they are being screwed. That American sports is not equal and that African Americans must become determined to break the Color Barriers that exist in so many sports including golf.”
Black Box ….
” That is fabulous Tiger. We can see your new daughter has already changed your life profoundly. We’ve already taken too much of your time away from your daughter but let us ask you one more question. Are you also going to reach into your fortune which by some estimates will soon top $1Billion.”
” Again thank you for all the great questions and for the outstanding work the Black Box and Black Athlete Sports Network does. Yes a financial commitment is going to be a very important element…… ”
” …… I am going to pledge 10% of my earnings over the next 20 years up to $100Million to better integrate all aspects of sports and I am going to try to get successful African Americans in all sports to do the same.”
” Money is power of course. And with adequate funding for training courses and scholarships related directly to certain sports, and funds for law suites to bring legal action against the NCAA and the various professional leagues, coupled with effective public relations …… ”
” ……. and contributions to candidates who support our initiative, money for building Black controlled golf courses and to buy teams in various sports and for investments in Black media like BASN we can change things in America …….”
” ….. yes I am going to do all this and more for my beautiful new African American daughter and for all African Americans.”
Black Box …..
” Thank you Tiger it has been a remarkable even if the interview was completely created in our top secret Super Computer without any input from you. Even if you never ever say these things we know you should.”
END OF INTERVIEW
Whenever you want to reach us with comments or better yet an idea for a topic for the Box ……. email@example.com
NUCLEAR BLACK & WHITE FAMILY