Off The Top Of My Head: Thoughts On The New Charlotte NBA Franchise

Updated: May 31, 2006

Atlanta, GA–The recent award of an NBA franchise to the former owner of B.E.T., Robert Johnson, had me thinking. Since Mr. Johnson created a formula that was integral to the success of B.E.T., I wondered if he would go to the well one more time. After pondering the possibilities, I came up with the following thumbnail sketch. Remember, you read it here first.

Team Name

Choices include: Charlotte Big Ballas, Shot Callers Charlotte Bling-Bling Charlotte – Pimps Up, Hoes Down

Team Slogan

�Ya� Heard Me!�


Name – Olde English Arena Nickname – Home of the 40 Ounce Posse

Arena Attractions

The Weed Wing Courvoisier Concourse Light-Skinned Luxury Lounge The Jigga� Man Jacuzzi The Weave Water Park Gate Ghetto-Fabulous

Special Arena Concession

The Gin and Juice Bar, featuring: Vodka and O.J. Simpson Mashburn Mint Julep Scott Skiles Scotch and Soda White Chocolate Kahlua and Kreame J.R. Rider Rum and Coke Yao Ming Martinis

Family Appreciation Night

A free paternity test will be given with each paid admission. 10 lucky fans will receive a no-expenses paid trip to appear on �Oh Drama� to receive the results.

Broadcast Team

Play by Play – Rachel Color Commentary: Rachel Sideline Reporter: Rachel

Player Personnel

Starting Lineup: Point Guard � Lil� Bow Wow Shooting Guard – Cita Forward – Master P Forward � a Howard Univ. Intern (fits under the salary cap) Center � Kym E. Whitley Head Coach � Ed Gordon

Front Office

Team President – Free General Manager – AJ


�The Charlotte Weave and Shake�

Tryouts at: Club Rolex � Miami Magic City � Atlanta Peanuts � Los Angeles The Penthouse – DC

Note: Note: �The Charlotte Weave and Shake� will release the first XXX cheerleaders video in NBA history. Hoping to duplicate the phenomenal success of the Doggie Style Adult Video Series, Charlotte has signed cinematic icon Snoop Dogg as both the director and executive producer of the project.

Remember, you heard it here first.

Elliott Robinson, Esq. is a Washington, D.C. based journalist. His column is distributed to web sites (,, and, National Newspaper Publishers Association members and individual subscribers. He can be heard on sports radio programs in Washington D.C., Dover-DE, Richmond-VA and XM Satellite Radio as a guest commentator. Elliott is also a legal consultant specializing in copyright, patent and trademark development.