A Very American Coup By Michael – Louis...
The Good, Bad, & Ugly of Super Bowl XL
By Tony McClean
Updated: February 7, 2006
NEW HAVEN, Ct — Okay, it wasn’t an “classic” Super Bowl. But it wasn’t quite an Aunt Esther/Shabba Ranks/Mick Jagger (you get the point) game either. Super Bowl XL was many things to many people. About 90 to 100 million or so to be exact.
We here at BASN take a non-scientific, but always informative look back at all things from Super Bowl Sunday. A little bit of this n’ that and all the stuff in between. Call it the good, bad, and ugly from the largest unofficial holiday in North America.
Jerome Bettis: With many apologies and many dropped passes from Seattle’s Jerramy Stephens, the “Bus” gets to ride off in the sunset. In the ultimate local boy makes good story, the future Hall of Famer gets a championship to put a nice capper on a solid career. Wow, what a concept! A player retires and appears to stays true to his world. However, I didn’t see a fishing pole in his hand, so he could be bluffing (wink, wink).
Warren Moon: For that high schooler who’s constantly being told he’s too good of an athlete to be a quarterback, you now have an answer. For that junior college player who’s told that he’s a better receiver than a quarterback, you now have an answer. For the (Daunte) Culpeppers, (Michael) Vicks, and (Vince) Youngs of the world, you now have an answer. Warren Moon endured all of that and then some. Now he’s headed to Canton. I thank God that I lived long enough to see No. 1 get his bust for the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Stevie Wonder: Yeah, he’s a little pudgy around the waist. But Little Steveland Morris can still bring a crowd to its feet with his gift of song. If you weren’t lucky enough to see Stevie along with John Legend, Joss Stone and India.Arie, it was your loss. While critics predictably took shots at Stevie, one thing you couldn’t deny — Wonder didn’t have to take off the clothing of either Stone or Arie to entertain us.
Officials: There’s nothing more embarrassing than having one of the worst days of your life exposed to the nation and the world. Even the caveman that got fired in the FedEx commercial had a better day than these fellas. Did they single-handedly cause the Seahawks loss? No, but they damn sure didn’t help. Not to mention some dropped passes, missed field goals, and clock management issues. This is just another major itch on the ass that is bad NFL officiating.
Mike Holmgren: Speaking of mismanagement, just what the hell was that all about at the end of the first half? Yes, I know you were pissed about the Roethlisberger phantom “touchdown”, but you still had the opportunity to answer back with a score of your own. Instead you pull an Andy Reid and blow a golden chance to get your team back into the game. Note to bitter Jet fans after watching the last two Super Bowls: It appears that Reverend Herm isn’t the village idiot that you think he is, huh??
Joe Montana: Apparently the ex-Niner Golden Boy couldn’t grace America with an appearance at the former Super Bowl MVP ceremonies. According to reports, Super Joe was looking for a little bit more lettuce (that’s money, folks) to show up in Motown. Most of the media folk that reported the story said they didn’t believe the story. Just a thought: could you imagine the venomous stuff that the media would be saying if this involved one Barry Lamar Bonds??
The Rolling Stones: For all the obvious reason. Four very old men censored by TV and the NFL. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought it was Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and any other real old person ranting while singing and dancing real badly. Except for the smoke, tight pants, guitars, and English accents, I really couldn’t tell the damn difference.
Paul Tagliabue: Friday’s yearly “State of The Union” of the NFL news conference always talks about the great things about the league. While there’s no doubt that this is still professional sports top dog, there are some major problems that still plague the league (i.e. minority hiring or the lack there of, poor officiating for example). Now with whispers of labor strife, could the golden goose turn into an emu within the next few years?